IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being sellf-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
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The globalisation
Correct article usage
Globalisation
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 affects society
in
Change preposition
from
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 many perspectives.
For example
Linking Words
, to determine which occupations
that
Correct word choice
apply
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we should choose nowadays.
People
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 these days tend to be self-employed rather than an employee in
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
a company
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 or
organisation
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.
This
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further
Linking Words
stamement
Correct your spelling
statement
statements
 will be discussed in the paragraph below. The cultures of
Use synonyms
organisation
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the organisation
an organisation
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 are the gist for
Use synonyms
company
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the company
a company
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 to follow the
rules
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. Certainly,
people
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 who
work
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in
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apply
show examples
there must
be obey
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obey
show examples
 the policies of the
company
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.
However
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, a handful of
people
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 feel tired
with
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of
show examples
 the
company
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's
rules
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. A lot of
rules
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 often force the employees to
work
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 under pressure, to
work
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 overtime etcetera. Yet, the employees are trying their best to fit in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 culture of
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organisation
Add an article
the organisation
an organisation
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although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 are not. Some
people
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 who don'
t
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 satisfy with the cultures of
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organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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 love to
work
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 by themselves.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
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 of
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
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mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
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 called self-employed or
entrepreneur
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.
Become
Wrong verb form
Becoming
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 self-employed has advantages and disadvantages. One of
advantages
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the advantages
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 is
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Add an article
an entrepreneur
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entrepreneur
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entrepreneurs
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 can
work
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 by
herself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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. It
doesn
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'
t
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limited
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limit
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 the area of interest and creativeness.
Moreover
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, it
doesn
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'
t
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 have to follow the
organisation
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's
rules
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. In fact,
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entrepreneur
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the entrepreneur
an entrepreneur
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 is more open-minded rather than
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
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 who works in a
company
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
self-employed
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being self-employed
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 has many drawbacks. One of them is hard to build a business if she
doesn
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'
t
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 have sufficient money
also
Linking Words
 fund.
Wrong verb form
Becoming
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Become
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A become
The become
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Use synonyms
entrepreneur
Correct article usage
an entrepreneur
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 is more likely a baby step in the business world and it takes too long to stable.
In addition
Linking Words
,
self-employed
Correct article usage
a self-employed
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 has
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 risk of
failures
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failure
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 if she
doesn
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'
t
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 have
clear
Add an article
a clear
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 plan
of
Change preposition
for
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 her business. Another reason is, to become
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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successful
businesswomen
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businesswoman
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 or
Correct article usage
a businessmen
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businessmen
Fix the agreement mistake
businessman
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, should have
a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of connections if their works want to
well-known
Add a missing verb
be well-known
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. According to The Businesswomen Association, the connections are the most difficult things that
people
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 should polish their skills to
gained
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gain
show examples
 a connection. To conclude, either as
employee
Add an article
an employee
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 and self-employed has its advantages and disadvantages. All we need to do, to prepare
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
for this
show examples
 concern is, improve our skills and
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 related to our goals in the future.
Become
Wrong verb form
Becoming
show examples
 self-employed might have huge freedom but
employee
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the employee
an employee
show examples
 has a higher possibility to get promotion and earn a big amount of salary.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
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