IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

talk about the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education

This
Linking Words
 line chart depicts the percentage of people above 65 years old compared with the whole population in three countries: the United States,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, and Japan from 1940 to 2040. It is clear from the graph that the ratio increased throughout the period. According to what is shown, USA and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 illustrated similar pattern. Both countries increased gradually from 7.5 and 9 per cent nearly by 7 per cent respectively in the
first
Linking Words
 4 decades. After a small dip in the figures of the US and
Sweden
Use synonyms
, USA’s ratio sustained at about the same level while the other increased from 13% to 18% reaching its peak at 20% by the end of 2020. After which both populations are projected to rocket up to 25 and 23 proportion for
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and USA respectively. Japan,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, decreased gradually till it levelled at 3% from 1940 and 1990. A gradual increment by 2% took place till 2007. The ratio will rocket significantly to its peak at 28 per cent after a gradual increase beforehand. To sum, we could say that Japan has a much lower population aged 56 and over compared with the other two countries except in the
last
Linking Words
 decade.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: