the charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and B in two years 1960 and 2010
The pie chart compares the workforce being employed in different fields : manufacturing,
sales
, and services in city
A and B in 1960 and 2010.
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that the proportion of workers in sales
sector which was the largest one in 1960 was substituted by that of employees in manufacturing in 2010 in Correct article usage
the sales
town
A, whereas
people working in sales
remained the most significant field in 2010 in town
B.
Staring
in 1960 in Correct your spelling
Starting
town
A, at 41 % , sales
was the biggest working sector, followed by services and manufacturing at 30% and 29%,respectively.However
, manufacturing replaced sales
as the primary working field which accounted for 60% in 2010, whereas
sales
and services dropped by 21% and 14% to 20 and 16%, respectively in the same year.
With regard to town
A, although
the proportion of sales
dropped moderately from 70% to 53%, it remained the biggest sector of working
. Replace the word
work
In contrast
, manufacturing
ratio in 1960 was over two times higher than that in 2010.Add an article
the manufacturing
Submitted by aunaunyas on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, town with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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