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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being sellf-employed?

In many countries, individuals are prone to work as freelancers or independent from organisations
due to
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 the job
sastifications
Correct your spelling
sanctifications
 and others
instead
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 of
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 for other businesses. Personally, there are various reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and I will elaborate on both
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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 and disadvantages of those in the following essay. On the one hand,
Due to
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 hectic
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, work-life balance is the main crucial reason for the current individuals to be self-employed since they commonly
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
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 overtime working without extra wages.
Thus
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, hectic
works
Use synonyms
 in workplaces affect their physical and mental health.
Additionally
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,
Company
Correct article usage
the Company
show examples
 is unable to provide suitable tasks to the employees,which allow them to improve their intellectual
skills
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 and abilities, leading to a sense of dissastification
on
Change preposition
in
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 either
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 or organisations.
For example
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, Tim who is my pen pal's comrade has ever worked as an editor in a well-known company, which provides him solely easy duties, not talented
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, leading him to establish his own business at a young age.
On the other hand
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, being self-employed provides many negative outcomes to them.
Firstly
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, If they work as a freelancer or
independent
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independently
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, gaining
solf
Correct your spelling
self
skills
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such
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 as leadership, teamwork and others
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 impossible and
also
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 leads to.
Furthermore
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, they would lack time management
skills
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 if they are unable to rearrange their time properly, leading to facing terrible issues in terms of health in the near future.
For instance
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, some freelancers who stayed late to accomplish the creative
artworks
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artwork
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 in time experienced horrible allergies because of lack of sleep, which
affect
Wrong verb form
affected
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 the immunes. In conclusion, youngsters tend to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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freelancer
Fix the agreement mistake
freelancers
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 or independent from organisations in order to improve their abilities and work-life balance
whereas
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 a decrease in soft
skills
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, which are beneficial in working life could be the biggest disadvantage.

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing ideas more coherently and connecting them logically.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and restate the thesis.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support main points and strengthen the arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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