Some educationalists say a child should be taught to play a musical instrument. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals argue that musical
instruments
play an important role among
children
, while others think it wastes
time
and I agree. Some benefits and drawbacks will be discussed in the following paragraphs. One advantage is that, if
children
taught
Add a missing verb
are taught

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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to play
a musical
Correct the article-noun agreement
a musical instrument
musical instruments

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun instruments in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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instruments
, it can be useful for their future, because they can
taught
Change the verb form
teach
be taught

The verb taught after the modal verb can does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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their
children
in their spare
time
. Another benefit is that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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sometimes playing musical
instruments
can be beneficial.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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parties
Add a comma
,parties

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in parties. Consider adding a comma.

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you can show your ability. One disadvantage is that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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it can be waste of
time
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because
children
should learn their subjects,
such
as mathematics or English to enter
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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university. They have no
time
to learn to play musical
instruments
. Another drawback is that, if you learn how to play musical
instruments
, you cannot be guaranteed to learn other subjects, because
children
do not want to study
this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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subjects and I agree. In conclusion, people should
taught
Change the verb form
teach
be taught

The verb taught after the modal verb should does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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their
children
to play musical
instruments
if their
children
want. They should not force them to play musical
instruments
. They should learn a subject they want
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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