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Writing Samples
Band 6

Over the past few decades, international travel has become more affordable and many people now choose overseas holidays. As a result, tourism is becoming a profitable industry in many countries. However, despite the benefits, tourism can also create problems. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism?

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Nowadays, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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much controversy
over
Add a hyphen
over-tourism

It appears that over tourism is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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tourism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 which has been widely expanded recently due to the possibility of travelling abroad
with
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 reasonable prices. For years,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 industry had been viewed as
Correct article usage
an opportunities
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opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity

It seems that opportunities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 for countries and people;
howeber
Correct your spelling
however

If you don’t want howeber to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, people are taking a fresh look at it recently.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it is noteworthy to bear in mind that it has its own two sides, I believe the positive effects clash with the negative ones. The following essay will overlook some of these benefits and drawbacks. On one hand, several advantages of
tourism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are being argued by experts. One of the obvious benefits is for the destination country to improve. To illustrate, a great number of job opportunities have been created by
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
the increasing

The noun phrase increasing number seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 number of tourists in a little town. Even some countries, like Turkey, significantly rely on
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 industry as the main source of income.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it has brought different nationalities
close
Add the particle
to close

It appears that the verb close should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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 together.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many negative beliefs have been corrected by getting familiar with different cultures.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, creating
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a global village has become more feasible.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition of after despite may be unnecessary. Consider removing the second preposition.

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the above-said benefits,
tourism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 has brought us some issues.
First
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a lot of historical places are being destructed with the faster speed after welcoming
numerouse
Correct your spelling
numerous

If you don’t want numerouse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

visitors. Foreigners might not be as responsible for saving a relic as the citizens are.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they might secretly take a stone of a castle as a
soveniour
Correct your spelling
souvenir

If you don’t want soveniour to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the subsequent
crowed
Correct your spelling
crowd

The word crowed doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 that tourists might cause for a little town can disturb its residents. local residents of a historical place
seldomely
Correct your spelling
seldom

If you don’t want seldomely to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

can enjoy their weekends in the town without being
interupted
Correct your spelling
interrupted

If you don’t want interupted to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by enthusiast visitors. To sum up,
tourism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 has resulted in many positive and negative consequences. The country improvement and
humans
Replace the word
human

The word humans doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 interaction are located against the historical place destruction and reduction of peoples privacy. In my opinion, the negative side can not negate the positive one.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordable
  • overseas
  • profitable
  • hospitality
  • cultural exchange
  • preservation
  • infrastructure
  • pollution
  • habitats
  • commercialized
  • authenticity
  • economic dependence
  • sustainable tourism
  • heritage sites
  • ecotourism
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