Some people believe zoos, where wild animals are kept in a man-made environment, should no longer exist in the twenty-first century. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many believe that zoos, keeping animals in the ambience of a fake natural habitat, need to be stopped in the modern age. A big debate is surfacing regarding the well-being of creatures in zoos.
This
essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with the statement and will discuss certain drawbacks of animal display centres. The biggest reason why zoos are damaging
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is the fact that animals can not experience true liberty outside their homes. Fauna
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
destined to be in the wild, and recreating their
narural
Correct your spelling
natural
habitat is not the same as letting them roam free.
For instance
, studies have shown that a great number of creatures held in captivity are more likely to develop disorders in their emotional state, due to the lack of freedom. Another vital reason is
low
Add an article
the low
show examples
quality of life that the fauna
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
living in.
Although
,
this
does depend on the centre in which they are kept in, the vast majority of places that display creatures dismiss basic conditions in which a certain species should be kept. The improper way of taking care of species is,
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
,unfortunately
show examples
an abundant occurrence. Corporations only build these constructions for the sole purpose of gaining profit,
thus
ignoring health regulations and conserving as much money as possible, leaving species to suffer. To sum up, I think that the masses agree on why these types of buildings are, in fact, creating adverse ramifications for the fauna inhabiting them. But people are still visiting them daily without worrying about the awful conditions in which they are held. In the future,
hopefully
Add a comma
,hopefully
show examples
constructions like these will be shutting down, and the public will be able to see that other forms of entertainment exist.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: