People have mindsets about whether individuals to go straight into work and getting experience or getting a degree from university is the best way to enter a good job.

People
have mindsets about whether humans to go straight into
work
and getting experience or getting a
degree
from
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
is the best
way
to enter a good
job
.    According to my opinion, taking a
degree
from
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
essential for us to enter a pretty
job
.   On the one hand, to go straight into
work
is
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
way
to my mind. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
without a
degree
cannot
work
at government offices.
Nevertheless
,  most
people
prefer to go straight into
work
even it is hard. The advantage of
this
method is that they do not spend
Correct your spelling
long
show examples
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
time and financial costs to get a
degree
.   
On the other hand
, having a
degree
demand us
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
rational and knowledgeable.
Therefore
, we taught
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
hard and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
well in our lessons at
university
. Certainly, before we take a
degree
from
university
Add an article
a university
the university
show examples
,we must go to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
university
. In my opinion, aspiring and working hard
people
choose
this
way
. I am a student so, I prefer
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
a
degree
.
In addition
, it can be said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
to have a diploma is to have a well-paid
job
. My goal is to make enough money to meet the needs of myself and my family in the future. For
this
reason, I approve
getting
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
a
degree
.    In conclusion, to go straight into
work
and getting experience may be
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
way
for some
people
finding
Change the verb form
to find
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vital
job
, but it seems to me that having a diploma has much more benefits in life.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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