IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

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The environment
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 experienced a dramatic increase in society in the past two to three decades. As per the World
state
Capitalize word
State
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 Documentary, the world’s national growth rate will increase in the upcoming ten years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the essay will explain the effect caused by increasing the nation worldwide. To start with, the more population will lead to a shortage of space to live in it. Based on the economic level so many affordable communities may manage
this
Linking Words
 kind of problem ,unlike poor regions. The rich countries are fully dependent on advanced technology
such
Linking Words
 as China. As per the documentary
statics
Correct your spelling
statistics
show examples
 shown in 2021 BBC NEWS, The government had instructed the constructors to build different eco-friendly houses which will save more
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
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 and protect the ecosystem. On the other side, countries with average economic growth are facing
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 crises.
For instance
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,countries
such
Linking Words
 as Ethiopia
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 the highest population in Africa
where
Rephrase
apply
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its nation is suffering and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are homeless
due to
Linking Words
 the high number of national
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 , the government tried to protect the environment in all aspects. They started motivating people to buy
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
 and spaces in Urban places
by
Change preposition
for
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less
Correct word choice
lower
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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. In order to prepare the urban ,places the government must make the majority of the villages capable of accommodating people there.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the authority requires enough funds to establish the place.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, the poor state will affect the environment
by
Change preposition
through
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 deforestation of the nature.
For example
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 provided special loans for those who are willing to buy land in urban areas. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the number of people will increase more over the upcoming years.
Hence
Linking Words
, the authority should study the forecasting
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the growth rate and take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action in advance and help the next generation life.

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task response
Task Response: The essay somewhat addresses the prompt but lacks a clear opinion on the given statement. The points made are relevant to the topic, but the opinion is not clearly stated and needs to be more balanced.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is somewhat maintained, but there is room for improvement. The introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity and coherence. The main points are discussed but lack clear connectivity between them. The essay would benefit from better organization and stronger transitions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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