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Band 6

In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#leaders #society #conflicts #violence #world #women
There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating a debate whether
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 the old days, male politicians have ruled our community to violence and conflicts;
on the other hand
,
women
 having political
power
 would make our
society
 more peaceful. I consider myself an advocate of
this
 notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, throughout history, male politicians are gravitated towards triggering a violent world. Given the fact that they are likely to give a wealth of aggressive policies and utilize violence-packed actions and weapons with a view to reaching their set goals
such
 as seizing
power
. Adolf Hitler who is a dictator of Germany can be cited as a remarkable example. With regard to his political career, He always offered an eclectic mix of hard
power
 of commands which are the chief roots breeding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
World War 2
although
 he
initially
 desired to expand Germany-his country. In summary, men getting the leading roles have a tendency to rule a brutal
society
.
Although
 the demerits of
man
Add an article
a man
the man
show examples
 leading the
society
 are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the merits of
women
 in a driving seat are neglected. It is clear to say that
women
 have the soft
power
 of collaboration which is biased towards negotiation and persuasion to deal with dire and alarming issues in lieu of violent strategies of men.
For instance
, Angela Markel who is the former prime minister of Germany makes a great contribution in settling the dispute between Ukraine and Russia. In conclusion, our
society
 will be more tranquil and better governed as long as it is led by
women
. All in all,
women
 formulate non-violent ways and decide to stay out of war. At odds with, male politicians are partial towards putting forward harsh policies to run the community.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • male-dominated leadership
  • empathetic
  • cooperative
  • inclusive society
  • governance
  • diversity
  • sustainable peace
  • social welfare
  • collaborative approach
  • international relations
  • leadership qualities
  • decision-making processes
What to do next:
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