Task 2 Some educationalists say a child should be taught to play a musical instrument. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, music is one of the important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
in most
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
lives. And, of course, not a few people want to learn how to play musical
instruments
. So, to be honest, I
am not totally agree
Change the verb form
do not totally agree
show examples
with that point. Well, In my opinion, playing
music
Replace the word
musical
show examples
instruments
can help
children
to find their way. But, at
first
, I think, parents should ask their child about what kind of musical
instruments
do they prefer. And,
secondly
, do they want it, do they want to teach to play
instruments
. I suppose, there are a lot of good sides.
For example
, one of them, play musical
instruments
make
children
creative, artistic, which in the future for sure can be one of their benefits.
Other hand
Change the wording
Another hand
Other hands
show examples
, there are
also
some drawbacks. Not all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Add an article
the children
show examples
wants to teach it. Several of them hate it, cannot stand it. Else, we cannot skip that some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
Add an article
the parents
show examples
compel their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to teach to play. And it may
be influence
Change the verb form
be influenced
show examples
in their life. Or,
for instance
, there are
children
who in
time
Add an article
a time
show examples
obsessed with it. They cannot imagine their life without music. And it
also
may
be influence
Change the verb form
be influenced
show examples
in their mind. Quite a few do not have
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
for
this
, and cause of it they can suffer. In conclusion, I want to say that, yes,
children
should be taught, but if they want it. Because compulsion
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
lead to deplorable conditions.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: