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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed by using it as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save our traditions. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

#people #culture #attractions #tourists #traditions
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some people think that traditional
culture
Use synonyms
 can be destroyed by using it as money-making attractions to
tourists
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. discuss both the views and give our opinion? Nowadays,
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tradition
Replace the word
traditional
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 cultures are
modefing
Correct your spelling
modelling
modified
 to attract
tourists
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. Some people think that, if
tourism
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 may affect our traditional
culture
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 by using it
as
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for
show examples
 economic
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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. While
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 suggest that, it will help to protect the souvenirs. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, will discuss both views with my opinion. On the one hand,
tourism
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 is developing each day, it has
great
Add an article
a great
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 economic impact. It is the backbone
our
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of our
show examples
countries
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country's
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 economy. It helps to spread our
culture
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 towards other
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 countries.
Furthermore
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,
tourism
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help
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helps
show examples
 to develop our arts
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
motivating
Wrong verb form
motivates
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 the artisans.
Hence
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, it will help to enhance our traditions and
also
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 the economy.
In addition
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, every
industries
Change to a singular noun
industry
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 are trying to attract tourist.
For instance
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, the resorts are well
modiefied
Correct your spelling
modified
 it
attract
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attracts
show examples
tourists
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. And
also
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, food
industr
Correct your spelling
industry
 are making varieties of food to make
stastify
Correct your spelling
satisfy
 the
tourists
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. Special transport systems are arranged for
tourists
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.
For example
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, horse ride, elephant ride, camel ride.
On the other hand
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, if
tourism
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concentrating
Wrong verb form
concentrates
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 only
for
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on
show examples
money making
Add a hyphen
money-making
show examples
, it may affect the cultural background. And
also
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 lack of proper guidance may insult our
tradition
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.
For instance
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, some
tourists
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 using shoes inside the holy place
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will affect the
culture
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 and feeling of
localty
Correct your spelling
locality
loyalty
local
 people.
Moreover
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, renewing the cultural places to attract
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 may affect the original features. But the
culture
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 is
Add a hyphen
deep-rooted
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deep
Change the adjective
deeply
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 rooted nothing can destroy it. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists
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 boost our economy.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
 proper
guidance
Add a comma
,guidance
show examples
 we can keep our
tradition
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 safe. I strongly believe
taht
Correct your spelling
that
tourists
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 never take any
tradition
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 or
culture
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 from the country. In conclusion, it is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to attract the tourist.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
 proper guidance,
maintence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 we can have better benefits from
tourism
Use synonyms
Submitted by josestephy1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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