some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed by using it as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save our traditions. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

some people think that traditional
culture
can be destroyed by using it as money-making attractions to
tourists
.
However
, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. discuss both the views and give our opinion? Nowadays,
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
cultures are
modefing
Correct your spelling
modelling
modified
to attract
tourists
. Some people think that, if
tourism
may affect our traditional
culture
by using it
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
economic
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. While
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
suggest that, it will help to protect the souvenirs. In
this
essay, will discuss both views with my opinion. On the one hand,
tourism
is developing each day, it has
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
economic impact. It is the backbone
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
economy. It helps to spread our
culture
towards other
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
countries.
Furthermore
,
tourism
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to develop our arts
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
motivating
Wrong verb form
motivates
show examples
the artisans.
Hence
, it will help to enhance our traditions and
also
the economy.
In addition
, every
industries
Change to a singular noun
industry
show examples
are trying to attract tourist.
For instance
, the resorts are well
modiefied
Correct your spelling
modified
it
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
tourists
. And
also
, food
industr
Correct your spelling
industry
are making varieties of food to make
stastify
Correct your spelling
satisfy
the
tourists
. Special transport systems are arranged for
tourists
.
For example
, horse ride, elephant ride, camel ride.
On the other hand
, if
tourism
concentrating
Wrong verb form
concentrates
show examples
only
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
money making
Add a hyphen
money-making
show examples
, it may affect the cultural background. And
also
lack of proper guidance may insult our
tradition
.
For instance
, some
tourists
using shoes inside the holy place
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will affect the
culture
and feeling of
localty
Correct your spelling
locality
loyalty
local
people.
Moreover
, renewing the cultural places to attract
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
may affect the original features. But the
culture
is
Add a hyphen
deep-rooted
show examples
deep
Change the adjective
deeply
show examples
rooted nothing can destroy it. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists
boost our economy.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
proper
guidance
Add a comma
,guidance
show examples
we can keep our
tradition
safe. I strongly believe
taht
Correct your spelling
that
tourists
never take any
tradition
or
culture
from the country. In conclusion, it is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to attract the tourist.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
proper guidance,
maintence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
we can have better benefits from
tourism
Submitted by josestephy1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: