Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #determination #sucess #factors #money #appearance

It is believed that

success

depends on hard-working and determination, while others claim that

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary and appearance are more important to be successful. I believe that both two motivations are important to reach goals and in

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will discuss both these points of view and give my opinion. On the one hand, some

peole

Correct your spelling

people

who want to be a scientist or famous

actress

Fix the agreement mistake

actresses

show examples

are eager to study more than ordinary

people

. These extraordinary persons are keen on studying and doing experiments rather than building a family, participating in social events or hanging out with their friends. Thanks to these kinds of talented individuals, we have a variety of technological developments like the internet which provide numerous knowledge. If they were not so passionate about learning and searching, today most of

machines

Correct article usage

the machines

show examples

and devices we take for granted would not

invented

Change the verb form

be invented

show examples

For instance

, the invention of some vaccination was not for saving money, it is done for saving human life and serving them

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier life.

Therefore

, hardworking and determination are important motivations for having

success

On the other hand

, most

people

are not happy with their jobs because of their low salary, so they do not show more effort to proceed in their area, and

eventually

Add a comma

,eventually

show examples

they have to experience

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

failure.

However

, if managers

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

their employees enough money to live in luxury and better job opportunities, they will become more enthusiastic to be involved in projects and take more responsibilities.

Consequently

this

wealthy lifestyle makes

people

feel unstressed and they would think about new ideas and solutions.

Thus

, the amount of salary and living conditions are substantial elements leading

people

success

. To recapitulate, there are a variety of factors leading

people

to get

success

. While some

people

give more value to money, some are passionate about research.

Consequently

, all of these make their own contribution to

success

Submitted by fatmaymc23 on Sat Mar 12 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

You have a problem with the computer at the office which has affected your work Write a letter to your manager and say What problem do you have What difficulties does this create for you What could be done about it.

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Machines are taking over more and more jobs previously done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling