IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Completing university is thought to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#university #job #hand #people #skills
People have different opinions over whether graduating from
univerity
Correct your spelling
university
 is the most efficient way to be hired for a prestigious occupation.
This
 essay will outline why people support both sides and suggest my opinion. On the one hand, it is generally acknowledged that as extraordinary companies prefer to recruit an employee who graduates
an
Change preposition
from an
show examples
 outstanding
university
, Students who finish high levelled
university
 tend to have more opportunities to
work
 in major businesses.
For example
, in Korea, 70% of high school students study badly in order to enrol
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a respectable
university
 in
this
 competitive society. As the example clearly illustrates, graduating well-known
university
 can be a key factor in the employment of big companies.
On the other hand
, practical skills are not provided by higher education. Professional skilled jobs
such
 as engineer, plumber require various experiences to
work
 efficiently.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the Korea Labor Foundation has revealed that 20% of manual
work
 companies tend to employ a skilful
worker
 rather than a higher-educated
worker
. Regarding
this
, I strongly believe that a good job is different depending on the person
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if someone wants to be a white colour
worker
, the certification of an outstanding
university
 is necessary.
However
, if an individual hope to
work
 as a manual
worker
, having more experience is better than graduating
a
Change preposition
from a
show examples
university
. What is more, people should choose whether complete
university
 or not relying on their interests and aptitude.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: