IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight.Some people say that price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #price #foods
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It is a common belief that the reason many fat
people
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's overweight is they do not exercise and move dynamically.
However
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, there is a more persuasive argument that when
people
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 eat
junk
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foods
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 it can be why they gain weight. On the one hand, most medicals say
people
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 have to do exercise and move more and more. If they go to a gym or do sports,
people
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 are able to prevent illnesses and keep themselves healthy.
For example
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, when
people
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 play some sports, they will sweat a lot and are able to lose weight,
then
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 it can be more helpful avoid to diseases from obesity.
Nevertheless
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,
people
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 can prevent obesity through do not eat
junk
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foods
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.
Junk
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foods
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 are the main reason why
people
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 get overweight.
For instance
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, most
people
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 are not like fresh food
such
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 as salad and food to make with vegetables because that taste is not good, but they like
junk
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foods
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such
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 as hamburgers and pizza because those are really delicious and addictive
foods
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 so
then
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people
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 find fattening
foods
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 and those make
people
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 are obesity but
people
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 can solve
this
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 problem to increase the price of fattening
foods
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. When the price will expensive, the count of buying
junk
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 food will be reduced and it can be lead to keep
people
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's healthy weight. To sum up, when
people
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 are lazy and do not go to the gym is able to make
people
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 fat.
On the other hand
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, when
people
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 eat fattening
foods
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 they get overweight is more powerful insist, so I agree that fattening
foods
Use synonyms
 have to more expensive than before.
Submitted by vezeta0504 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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