It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men.Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be observed for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition?

#level #jobs #men #government #percentage #women #proposition

Many believe that majority of the senior positions are held by

men

hence

, it is suggested that

certain

Correct article usage

a certain

show examples

percentageof

Correct your spelling

percentage of

these

jobs

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

be observed for women. In my opinion, I

disaggree

Correct your spelling

disagree

that a percentage of

jobs

tobe

Correct your spelling

to be

show examples

observed for women, and the

reasonsfor

Correct your spelling

reasons for

reason for

deductionis

Correct your spelling

deductions

deduction is

given below. The main reason is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is step

Change the verb form

is stepping

is stepped

show examples

towardsdiscrimination

Correct your spelling

towards discrimination

men

Change preposition

against men

show examples

. In certain countries,

such

as Sri Lanka, particular Governments post, eg. Secretary of female Affairs is set

a side

Correct your spelling

aside

show examples

ofr

Correct your spelling

for

a woman, and

men

are discourage

Change the verb form

are discouraged

show examples

from applying to the post,

this

is gender discrimination.

Such

seggregation

Correct your spelling

segregation

should not be allowed as it is unfair to

men

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

Additional

, some

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

can only be performed by

men

. It is proven by both medical studies and

sphycological

Correct your spelling

physiological

psychological

studies,

jobs

such

as Head of Armed forces can only be

sucessfully

Correct your spelling

successfully

performed by

men

only.

Therefore

, having

resstrictions

Correct your spelling

restrictions

such

positions may become an invalid action.

Furthermore

, the best person

Change preposition

for

show examples

the job must be appointed, and it should not be a matter of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gender. For an instance, Heinze Company 'a the current Chief Executive Officer is a female, a position that was formally held by a man. As

such

it allows the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

company to benefit from the bast leadership.

Therefore

, gender should not be deciding factor in occupying a senior post. In conclusion, I disagree that there should be a percentage observed for

womenn

Correct your spelling

women

in senior levels, because, it is

discrimatitory

Correct your spelling

discriminatory

towards

men

, it

avoid

Change the verb form

avoids

show examples

the best person for the job and

last

but not least, certain

jobs

can only be performed by

men

Submitted by kanchanal on Sun Mar 13 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men.Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be observed for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with co-workers while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life . What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.