It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men.Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be observed for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition?

#level #jobs #men #government #percentage #women #proposition

Many believe that majority of the senior positions are held by

men

hence

, it is suggested that

certain

Correct article usage

a certain

show examples

percentageof

Correct your spelling

percentage of

these

jobs

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

be observed for women. In my opinion, I

disaggree

Correct your spelling

disagree

that a percentage of

jobs

tobe

Correct your spelling

to be

show examples

observed for women, and the

reasonsfor

Correct your spelling

reasons for

reason for

deductionis

Correct your spelling

deductions

deduction is

given below. The main reason is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is step

Change the verb form

is stepping

is stepped

show examples

towardsdiscrimination

Correct your spelling

towards discrimination

men

Change preposition

against men

show examples

. In certain countries,

such

as Sri Lanka, particular Governments post, eg. Secretary of female Affairs is set

a side

Correct your spelling

aside

show examples

ofr

Correct your spelling

for

a woman, and

men

are discourage

Change the verb form

are discouraged

show examples

from applying to the post,

this

is gender discrimination.

Such

seggregation

Correct your spelling

segregation

should not be allowed as it is unfair to

men

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

Additional

, some

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

can only be performed by

men

. It is proven by both medical studies and

sphycological

Correct your spelling

physiological

psychological

studies,

jobs

such

as Head of Armed forces can only be

sucessfully

Correct your spelling

successfully

performed by

men

only.

Therefore

, having

resstrictions

Correct your spelling

restrictions

such

positions may become an invalid action.

Furthermore

, the best person

Change preposition

for

show examples

the job must be appointed, and it should not be a matter of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gender. For an instance, Heinze Company 'a the current Chief Executive Officer is a female, a position that was formally held by a man. As

such

it allows the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

company to benefit from the bast leadership.

Therefore

, gender should not be deciding factor in occupying a senior post. In conclusion, I disagree that there should be a percentage observed for

womenn

Correct your spelling

women

in senior levels, because, it is

discrimatitory

Correct your spelling

discriminatory

towards

men

, it

avoid

Change the verb form

avoids

show examples

the best person for the job and

last

but not least, certain

jobs

can only be performed by

men

Submitted by kanchanal on Sun Mar 13 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays,many people prefere to use face to face communication more than online and have started to pay less attantion on sochial media such as Facebook and Twitter in their everydays life.Some humans being concured with each other ,indicate that this method will help people to spend more time together,meanwhile others comment that plenty of negative sides might be appear, following offline interaction method.This essay will try to examine both sides and explore whether advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages or it's the opposite.
5.5
band
Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters
It is a debatable topic that whether developed countries’ role to provide disasters relief with developing countries. This essay strongly agrees this statement because wealthier countries have advanced medical systems that can help many victims from natural catrophy such floods, earthquake and tornado. Another reason is that natural disasters can happen anywhere and helping each other is a necessary humanilsm trait to create better relationship and bring a peace in the global.
4
band
The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a conversation going on regarding whether the decision of their job should be taken by youth themselves or by in a more planned way thinking about the job industry in years to come.
5
band
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work . some people regard this as completely wrong , while others consider it valuable work experience , important for learning and taking responsibility . What are your opinion on this ?
Firstly, the job is an essential thing in our life for all ages. In each year of a human being there are features to determine his life and make his personality. In my opinion, I am against the phenomenon of child labor because initial education creates successful generations and makes developing nations.
6.5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s society, people’s perspectives on education have shown significant divergence. Therefore, the question of whether high schools should include a compulsory curriculum for free community service, such as working in a charity, helping the neighbourhood, or mentoring younger children, has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective, I agree with the viewpoint that students should engage in volunteer campaigns as these can bring about numerous benefits to them.

It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men.Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be observed for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work . some people regard this as completely wrong , while others consider it valuable work experience , important for learning and taking responsibility . What are your opinion on this ?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?