Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

It is argued that having a lot of

money

is the most successful

life

, whereas

scientists

Change noun form

scientists'

scientist's

show examples

and

teachers’s

Remove the s

teachers’

show examples

Correct your spelling

lives

life

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

are the most. In my opinion, jobs which contribute to our

society

such

as teachers and researchers are most valuable

life

rather than making lots of

money

This

essay will

further

elaborate my views

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

controversial issue and

thus

will lead to a logical conclusion. Those who argue in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of wealth driven by lots of

money

point out that

money

can make our

life

much healthier and happier. Some people claim that we can

booster

Replace the word

boost

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

with loads of

money

. To be specific, it is obvious that it can help the

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

who is suffering from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poverty through the charity fund and at the same time a wide variety of companies develop

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own entities and

society

by investing

such

as purchasing their products or stocks.

The

Correct article usage

Money

show examples

money

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

is one of

Correct article usage

the motivation

show examples

motivation

Fix the agreement mistake

motivations

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

developing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

and it can be a successful

life

. It is clear fact that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

there are many advantages with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

in our

life

and the power

money

has is tremendous.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

can not make solve all the problems we have. Frankly speaking, is it agreeable that the rich person who lost his/her health has a successful

life

? Needless to say,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

is the most important factor in modern

society

, the successful person who leads the

society

and country can be found easily around us and those are admirable and respectable

such

as the scientists, teachers and etc.

Although

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of

worthwhile

Correct article usage

the worthwhile

show examples

considerations when we mention a successful

life

, it

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

, unfortunately,

show examples

can not be a major reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

social development. According to the aforementioned arguments above, one can reach a conclusion that scientists and teachers’

endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

to make our

life

more fruitful and prosperous is much more successful than individual’s wealth.

Submitted by shoep11 on Sun Mar 13 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?