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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
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It is argued that having a lot of
money
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 is the most successful
life
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, whereas
scientists
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scientists'
scientist's
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 and
teachers’s
Remove the s
teachers’
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Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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 are the most. In my opinion, jobs which contribute to our
society
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such
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 as teachers and researchers are most valuable
life
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 rather than making lots of
money
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.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate my views
for
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on
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this
Linking Words
 controversial issue and
thus
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 will lead to a logical conclusion. Those who argue in
favor
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favour
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 of wealth driven by lots of
money
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 point out that
money
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 can make our
life
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 much healthier and happier. Some people claim that we can
booster
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boost
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the
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apply
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society
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 with loads of
money
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. To be specific, it is obvious that it can help the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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 who is suffering from
the
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apply
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poverty through the charity fund and at the same time a wide variety of companies develop
its
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their
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 own entities and
society
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 by investing
such
Linking Words
 as purchasing their products or stocks.
The
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Money
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money
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Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
Linking Words
 is one of
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the motivation
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motivation
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motivations
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of
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for
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 developing
the
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apply
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society
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 and it can be a successful
life
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. It is clear fact that
the
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apply
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there are many advantages with
the
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apply
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money
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 in our
life
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 and the power
money
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 has is tremendous.
However
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,
the
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apply
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money
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 can not make solve all the problems we have. Frankly speaking, is it agreeable that the rich person who lost his/her health has a successful
life
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? Needless to say,
the
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apply
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money
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 is the most important factor in modern
society
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, the successful person who leads the
society
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 and country can be found easily around us and those are admirable and respectable
such
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 as the scientists, teachers and etc.
Although
Linking Words
the
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apply
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money
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 is
a
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apply
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one of
worthwhile
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the worthwhile
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 considerations when we mention a successful
life
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, it
unfortunately
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, unfortunately,
show examples
 can not be a major reason
in
Change preposition
for
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 social development. According to the aforementioned arguments above, one can reach a conclusion that scientists and teachers’
endeavor
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endeavour
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 to make our
life
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 more fruitful and prosperous is much more successful than individual’s wealth.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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