In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this positive or negative development?

It is generally said that innumerable youngsters around the world prefer to live in their own abode or with friends rather than in their parent's home after the end of school days. I believe it is a positive
development
owing to the causes that it aids in their personality
development
and
also
imparts the value of
money
in them. There are a number of reasons why living away from the parent's home help youngsters in fostering their personal growth. The predominant one is that as they have to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all of their life problems without
help
Add an article
the help
show examples
of any elder's support, they make numerous mistakes, which they have to resolve all
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own only; resulting in boosting of their confidence.
For example
, had my friend Bruce never stayed away from their guardians after his schooling, he would have never come out of
this
comfort zone
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and become
such
an eminent personality in his city.
Therefore
, the more
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
struggle, the more benefits one
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
from it for their
self improvements
Add a hyphen
self-improvements
show examples
. Another reason why it is a positive
development
is that it teaches young
one's
Change noun form
ones
show examples
the value of
money
. Since youngster
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not dependent on their elders and have to do
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
kind of odd jobs for paying their bills, they will understand how much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
it
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
to earn
this
money
;
consequently
, helping in developing their
money
management
Correct your spelling
skills
show examples
skils
Correct your spelling
skills
show examples
. Evidence of
this
has been described in the department of education in the USA: teenagers who have lived away from their families after their high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
have 70% more chances of becoming a millionaire by the age of 30 than the others. To recapitulate, living away from their
parents'
Correct your spelling
parent's
show examples
home after finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
is a positive
development
for adolescents due to the fact that not only
it
Add a missing verb
does it
show examples
ameliorate
Wrong verb form
ameliorates
show examples
their personality but
also
boost their
money
management skills.
Submitted by dsbsoni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: