In many traditional societies, caring for the children is only the mother’s responsibility. More recently, some people have argued that the father’s role should be as important as the mother’s role. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Raising a
child
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is of utmost importance that should not be neglected due to its effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society's future. For years, mothers had been viewed as the integral parties for bringing up a
child
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, but recently people are taking a fresh look at it. It is being argued that fathers' roles are as much vital as
mother's
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mothers

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. I am completely in agreement with the above-said view. The following essay will overlook two rationales that support my belief.
Firstly
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, nurturing an offspring is an art that needs
variety
Add an article
a variety

The noun phrase variety seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
skills
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that is
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only feasible by being interacted with different people.
For example
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, for being able to deal with a wide range of
emotion
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emotions

It seems that emotion may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to be a valuable society member, a
child
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should be fostered by both genders who owned disperse emotions and
skills
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.
This
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often means a
child
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who has been trained flexible to change a community in a way
that is
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appropriate for others.
Thus
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, integrating
of
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apply

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parents'
skills
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is beneficial not only for
children
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but
also
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for society.
Moreover
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, taking care of offspring needs sufficient time.
Although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the prevalence of
employeed
Correct your spelling
employed

If you don’t want employeed to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

female
Fix the agreement mistake
females

It seems that female may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is less, it is growing
up with
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a considerable speed. To illustrate, an
employeed
Correct your spelling
employee
employed

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mother who is working eight hours a day does not have enough time for taking care of her
children
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.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, fathers can play important roles by participating in
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's nurturing.
Consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a
child
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always has a supervisor in his or her most sensitive years. To sum up,the role of fathers in fostering their
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is becoming more clear than before. I believe that the usage of parents' disperse
skills
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is required for a
child
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to grew up properly.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, both parents are working nowadays and
deviding
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dividing
deciding

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responsibilities
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject responsibilities. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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needed for the
continiuty
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continuity

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of care.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional societies
  • childcare
  • division of labor
  • emotional development
  • father-child bonds
  • gender roles
  • parenting
  • societal norms
  • career opportunities
  • academic success
  • gender stereotypes
  • shared parenting
  • government policies
  • workplace attitudes
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