In many traditional societies, caring for the children is only the mother’s responsibility. More recently, some people have argued that the father’s role should be as important as the mother’s role. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Raising a
child
is of utmost importance that should not be neglected due to its effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society's future. For years, mothers had been viewed as the integral parties for bringing up a
child
, but recently people are taking a fresh look at it. It is being argued that fathers' roles are as much vital as
mother's
Change noun form
mothers
show examples
. I am completely in agreement with the above-said view. The following essay will overlook two rationales that support my belief.
Firstly
, nurturing an offspring is an art that needs
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
skills
that is
only feasible by being interacted with different people.
For example
, for being able to deal with a wide range of
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
to be a valuable society member, a
child
should be fostered by both genders who owned disperse emotions and
skills
.
This
often means a
child
who has been trained flexible to change a community in a way
that is
appropriate for others.
Thus
, integrating
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents'
skills
is beneficial not only for
children
but
also
for society.
Moreover
, taking care of offspring needs sufficient time.
Although
the prevalence of
employeed
Correct your spelling
employed
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
is less, it is growing
up with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a considerable speed. To illustrate, an
employeed
Correct your spelling
employee
employed
mother who is working eight hours a day does not have enough time for taking care of her
children
.
Therefore
, fathers can play important roles by participating in
children
's nurturing.
Consequently
, a
child
always has a supervisor in his or her most sensitive years. To sum up,the role of fathers in fostering their
children
is becoming more clear than before. I believe that the usage of parents' disperse
skills
is required for a
child
to grew up properly.
In addition
, both parents are working nowadays and
deviding
Correct your spelling
dividing
deciding
responsibilities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
needed for the
continiuty
Correct your spelling
continuity
of care.
Submitted by panizfathi70128 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional societies
  • childcare
  • division of labor
  • emotional development
  • father-child bonds
  • gender roles
  • parenting
  • societal norms
  • career opportunities
  • academic success
  • gender stereotypes
  • shared parenting
  • government policies
  • workplace attitudes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: