Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Even
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
there is a popular agreement that
sports
and social
activities
are not as important as classes and libraries and should not receive equal financial
support
, I have a different opinion. I strongly believe that they should equal financial
support
. The basis of my opinion is social and medical perspectives. Medically, funding money on
sports
and social
activities
will help
students
grow healthier which means
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
their health as well as
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
mortality rates. Nowadays, a lot of people try to do
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
balance but not
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
people can do
this
. When
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
is accumulated, it can lead to some diseases in the future
such
as Depression , Hypertension and Anxiety. Along with
this
, improving
sports
and social
activities
by
receive
Change the verb form
receiving
show examples
equal financial
support
encourage the
students
to release some
stressed
Change the form of the verb
stress
show examples
. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of
this
. For the past 3 years, my younger sister
was diagnosed
Change the verb form
has diagnosed
show examples
Depression
Change preposition
with Depression
show examples
because of the pressure of her school. She got
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
treatment and took some medicine for a while until she is getting better.
Furthermore
, while she got treatment, she tried to take care of herself by
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise and
met
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
new
friends
.
As a result
, Medically, funding money on
sports
and social
activities
will definitely
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a positive impact not only
Change preposition
on students
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
health but
also
on their life spans.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
a social
Correct your spelling
standpoint
show examples
stand point
Correct your spelling
standpoint
show examples
, spending money on
sports
and social
activities
will strengthen their bonds with other
students
which mean they can share
emotional
Replace the word
emotions
show examples
and feelings, so they will grow closer to each other.
Correct your spelling
Indeed
show examples
In deed
Correct your spelling
Indeed
show examples
, If
students
involve themselves in
sports
and social
activities
, they will create memories of beautiful
friends
. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, when I was a college student, I attended a basketball team of my major. I had a chance to make
friends
with other
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
. Now we
are still keep
Change the verb form
still keep
show examples
in touch and share our lives. If I would not attend the basketball team, I would not have new
friends
.
Therefore
, socially, supporting
sports
and social
activities
obviously directly relates to improving
students
’ interpersonal skills. In conclusion, for all the reasons stated above, I encourage all universities and colleges
support
Fix the infinitive
to support
show examples
sports
and social
activities
and receive equal financial
support
as libraries. If they do
this
,
then
they will discover
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that supporting
sports
and social
activities
has a countless number of social and medical benefits.
Submitted by mafrey_playgirl on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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