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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens have a healthier diet. Others, however, believe that individuals should take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #citizens #diet #individuals #responsibility #health
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Recently,whether residents having a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 is the responsibility of themselves or
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has sparked much debate.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both opinions and provide my personal view.
For people
Change preposition
People
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 who think that governments need to have more influence
in
Change preposition
on
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 their
diet
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,they believe that government can improve the standard of sanitation in
food
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factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
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 and restaurants.In
this
Linking Words
 case,customers are able to enjoy more hygienic meals which contribute to their health when they eat out.
By contrast
Linking Words
,there
are
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is
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great
Change the article
a great
the great
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 number of opponents who disagree with the previous point.They firmly hold that individuals ought to be independent
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 governments and make their own healthy
diet
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.To be
specfic
Correct your spelling
specific
,they are aware of the importance of health.During
food
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 purchasing,they carefully select ingredients full of nutrients like chicken breast,broccoli and fresh fruit.
Conversely
Linking Words
,even if governments pay massive attention
on
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 restricting
food
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,people who do not care about their physical well-being can still buy frozen
food
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 or junk
food
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 which contain much fat and little protein and vitamins. To sum up,people’s own awareness of
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 plays a more significant role than government control in having a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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