In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The circumstance of obesity and unhealthiness in the young is becoming particularly popular in several nations. There are some criticisms about the duty of the government in addressing
this
issue.
Although
I agree with
this
statement, I suppose that the responsibilities of parents should not be disregarded.
First
and foremost, the authorities are indeed in charge of tackling
this
problem. With the advocates from the governments to the promising growth of fast food industries
such
as hamburgers, sausages or Cola, more and more youngsters consume these kinds of cuisine owing to their popularity and convenience. That simultaneous leads to an escalating rate of childhood obesity and has a detrimental impact on health conditions. To cite an example from my personal experience, my 7-year-old cousin is addicted to Cola, she admitted that she could drink Cola
instead
of pure water every single day. That's why the government should discourage the manufacture of junk cuisine and set up some laws in order to slow down the consumption pace and confirm a healthy diet to youth.
On the other hand
, I will discuss the duty of parents involved in
this
issue in
this
paragraph. In modern society, many fathers and mothers do not have enough free time to make homemade foodstuff for their offspring and themselves owing to job requirements. The best solution for
this
situation is ordering some convenient fast food through online apps to fulfil their empty stomaches without spending any time.
As a result
, that drastically creates a harmful and unhealthy habit of eating which takes a long period of time to fix. It is undoubtedly essential for parents to prepare home-cooked meals from fresh and nutritious food for their children to maintain their healthy body and safe hygiene standards. In conclusion,
although
the authorities should have some responsibilities for the health conditions of youngsters in general, mothers and fathers are exceptionally in need of placing some attention to the eating habits of their offspring.
Submitted by dothuy.usd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: