In some poorer areas of large cities people are too afraid to leave their houses at night time due to a fear of crime. What are the causes of crime in those areas and what can be done to tackle those problems?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Quality of life is significantly dependent on where you live. Regarding a
couple
Add the preposition
ofcouple
show examples
ofneighbourhoods
Correct your spelling
of neighbourhoods
in a huge city, people are scared to go out in the dark due to crime rates and
this
Linking Words
essay will discuss the causes of
this
Linking Words
situation and suggest ideas for the solution.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
anything can be an excuse to perform a crime, if a person
execute
Change the verb form
executes
show examples
any kind of illegal activity, we must question their motivation or reason.
First
Linking Words
of all, fairly poorer areas in vast cities cannot offer
abundance
Add an article
an abundance
show examples
of
job
Use synonyms
opportunities for habitants
therefore
Linking Words
unemployment might lead habitants
desperately
Change preposition
to desperately
show examples
perform any kind of tiny crimes
such
Linking Words
as burglary or snatching.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, underdeveloped areas surely can not serve a well organized educational system to children of their residents. Without getting a proper and decent education, no one would expect students to build up a nice future with a well-paid
job
Use synonyms
. Not even getting a
job
Use synonyms
, these students wouldn'
t
Use synonyms
learn how to behave in a
hastily
Change the adverb
hasty
show examples
manner within a society. There are a number of things
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be done in order to decrease the illegal incidents in a certain
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
.
Linking Words
First
Add an article
The first
A first
show examples
and most essential thing to be done is to increase the
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
standards of the residents. To do so, the government must take responsibility and make investments to create new
job
Use synonyms
opportunities in the area, so that criminals would not stay unemployed
thus
Linking Words
being broke and desperate won'
t
Use synonyms
be an excuse for them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, education must be improved in the area.
This
Linking Words
can be performed by establishing new and modern schools and filling those schools with teachers who are good in various fields. So that students wouldn'
t
Use synonyms
lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
any knowledge compared to their peers, and they can progress and build up a future for themselves in the field of their desire. In conclusion, criminal occasions won'
t
Use synonyms
stop in a poor
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
if the residents can get equal educational of financial support like
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of the city. Government must step up and take responsibility in terms of funding these
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
about these fields.
Submitted by huseyinemrecan38 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: