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Band 5.5

As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

#trade #increases #goods #basis #countries #distance #trend
No doubts that the globalisation process spread over the world, especially in the sphere of transporting
goods
. And now citizens of many
countries
 are consuming these products. But the question appears, does it more beneficial to the
country
 or not? I think that
isit
Correct your spelling
is
it
 most beneficial, because it develops trading, diplomacy and
fields
 in the
country
,
although
 it makes weak the
field
 of producing
goods
.
First
 of all, I will start with the disadvantage of importing foods. Importing foods with a good value,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes it difficult to local businesses to sell their products with more
perk
Fix the agreement mistake
perks
show examples
. And
this
 sometimes causes the difficulty of surviving the business in
such
 a
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
 market. The explanation for
this
 is that for some
countries
 is much cheaper to produce
goods
, especially for developing
countries
 with a weak economy. They are producing
goods
 by hiring workers for
a low salaries
Correct the article-noun agreement
low salaries
a low salary
show examples
, so
that is
 why their products are becoming cheap.
However
, even though the
field
 of producing becoming weak, other spheres are becoming much stronger. Trading with other
countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 makes your trading
field
 and diplomacy
field
 much stronger. Because by the benefits you gained from trading with other
countries
, you can invest these money benefits to other
fields
, like exporting or developing other technologies in the
country
. ,
Also
diplomacy
Correct article usage
the diplomacy
show examples
field
 is developing by trading because these two things are connected with each other. To conclude,
although
 considering the drawback of making weak some local
fields
 benefits from trading with other
countries
 are outweighing because these
perk
Change the determiner
perks
show examples
 are promoting other
fields
 in a
country
.
Submitted by Sarsenbaevsultan496 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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