IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the distribution of time spent per mobile shopping category between December 2011 and December 2012.

The given pie charts illustrate the distribution of
time
Use synonyms
 spent per mobile shopping category between December 2011 and December 2012. Overall, people spend the majority of their
time
Use synonyms
 on the online marketplace in 2010, while there was the highest of
time
Use synonyms
 spent on retailers in 2012. According to the pie charts, in 2011, the Online marketplace indicated the majority of
time
Use synonyms
 spent,with about 25%,higher than that of other sectors by around one and a half times. The figure dropped moderately to 20% in 2012.
Similarly
Linking Words
. There was a downward trend in both Daily deals and purchase Assistant
time
Use synonyms
 spending rates, dropping by 7% to 13% in 2012 in the former and falling by only 1% to 17% in the latter a year later.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there was a sharp increase in the number of retailers, between 2011 to 2012, rising from only 15% to 27%, making it was the most popular sector of
time
Use synonyms
 spent.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the other sectors experienced a slight growth from 8% to 9% for the period.
However
Linking Words
, there was a period of stability at 14% in the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent on pice comparison over the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: