IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Not long ago ,people stored information in books. These days people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #information #books #store #internet
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Technology carries
a
Correct article usage
apply
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various
advantage
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advantages
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 in society,
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 is one of the examples. A few years ago,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of individuals read and wrote
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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 in books, because it was the main
sources
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source
show examples
 of knowledge. Nowadays,
however
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, the
internet
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 has
a
Remove the article
apply
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plethora
domination
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of domination
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 in education, especially
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 an immense deposit box of information. Personally, I think the
internet
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 will more dominant in the future for a large number of
people
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 who seek an education.
First
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 and foremost, the
internet
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 has more flexibility and efficiency rather than books, because it can
Correct your spelling
be
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bee
Correct your spelling
be
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 accessed every time whenever
people
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need
Correct pronoun usage
itneed
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.
For example
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, students might acquire enormous education materials by accessing the
internet
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 with their
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smartphones
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smart phones
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smartphones
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.
Hence
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, the
internet
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 does not require an ID card for registration
like
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as
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 the library does.
Therefore
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, many
people
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are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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 not interesting
go
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to go
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 to the library,
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instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
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accessing
Wrong verb form
access
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 the
internet
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 for educational reasons.
In addition
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, the
internet
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 provides a wide range of
connection
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connections
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 as well as low-cost price
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
.
For Instance
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,
people
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 will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to acquire the latest news from
different
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a different
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continent
Fix the agreement mistake
continents
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, because the
internet
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 has the ability to transfer massive data directly without time zones boundaries.
Last
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 but not the least, affordable price leads a large number of individuals
use
Add the particle
to use
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 the
internet
Use synonyms
 rather than borrow a book from a library. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has many perks in a knowledge establishment around the world. I believe, the
internet
Use synonyms
 may become a main educational source for communities in the future. They will replace the old material sources
such
Linking Words
 as a book and a newspaper.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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