IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Not long ago ,people stored information in books. These days people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #information #books #store #internet
Technology carries
a
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apply
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various
advantage
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advantages
show examples
 in society,
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
 is one of the examples. A few years ago,
majority
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the majority
show examples
 of individuals read and wrote
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 in books, because it was the main
sources
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source
show examples
 of knowledge. Nowadays,
however
, the
internet
 has
a
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apply
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plethora
domination
Change preposition
of domination
show examples
 in education, especially
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 an immense deposit box of information. Personally, I think the
internet
 will more dominant in the future for a large number of
people
 who seek an education.
First
 and foremost, the
internet
 has more flexibility and efficiency rather than books, because it can
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
bee
Correct your spelling
be
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 accessed every time whenever
people
need
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itneed
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.
For example
, students might acquire enormous education materials by accessing the
internet
 with their
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
.
Hence
, the
internet
 does not require an ID card for registration
like
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as
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 the library does.
Therefore
, many
people
are
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who are
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 not interesting
go
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to go
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 to the library,
instead
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ofinstead
show examples
accessing
Wrong verb form
access
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 the
internet
 for educational reasons.
In addition
, the
internet
 provides a wide range of
connection
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connections
show examples
 as well as low-cost price
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
.
For Instance
,
people
 will
able
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be able
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 to acquire the latest news from
different
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a different
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continent
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continents
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, because the
internet
 has the ability to transfer massive data directly without time zones boundaries.
Last
 but not the least, affordable price leads a large number of individuals
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
 the
internet
 rather than borrow a book from a library. In conclusion,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has many perks in a knowledge establishment around the world. I believe, the
internet
 may become a main educational source for communities in the future. They will replace the old material sources
such
 as a book and a newspaper.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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