Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#television #communication #friends #support

I disagree that

television

has destroyed

communication

among friends and family mainly from three viewpoints,

actions

, contents of communications and the way to communicate. I will explain them in detail.

Firstly

actions

are important.

Television

has brought various effects to our

actions

and

this

enabled us to do something with others. These

actions

with others must create communications.

For example

, we often buy what

television

advertises. In these cases, we often ask someone to go with us. Some researchers say that 50% of our purchase activity is caused by advertisements.

Secondly

, the

communication

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

which TV creates bring a large number of benefits to us. Thanks to

television

, many

people

know famous actors, actresses and sports players.

This

enables us to talk about them. Similar cases

also

happen not only in

people

but

also

in something different

such

as news.

For example

, I could talk about the election of Korea's president with my brother yesterday.

Thirdly

, the way to talk is often changed and create a large amount of

communication

. If the way to talk is similar,

people

can feel closer and the relationships and communications must be improved. These days, famous phrases

Change preposition

show examples

TV are much used by young

people

and it

accelarates

Correct your spelling

accelerates

the

communication

in social media. Certainly, some

people

assume that

people

do not talk while eating because they watch TV.

However

, talk in eating is not good for our bodies.

Submitted by sutoku0718 on Wed Mar 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

234 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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