IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Money is the main resource of our world for
people
Use synonyms
. The crucial extent of green papers is more notable than ever before, which leads
people
Use synonyms
 to choose their jobs according to these criteria. Unfortunately, we have to admit the importance of money
people
Use synonyms
 are paid, but in my opinion, most
people
Use synonyms
 can ignore it and adapt to living without big wages at the start.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I think job satisfaction is more essential because
people
Use synonyms
 feel unhappy working in the field they don't want to.
People
Use synonyms
 don’t choose their passions and we can’t force them to do things they are not interested in in order to keep their mental health in good condition.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can lead to some psychological illnesses and totally destroy the well-being of a person which is the reason for unhappiness.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it’s better to apply to a job you are keen to work in than consider only the material side. Another reason is the motivation that gives energy to
people
Use synonyms
 to achieve significant results in their careers.
In other words
Linking Words
, we can say that a motivated person is more productive because he spends more time and
forced
Add a missing verb
is forced
show examples
 to complete a task he aimed for or reach the result. A great example of it is famous scientists who made their choice not concerning big salaries, but for their own ideas and dreams. In conclusion, I believe most
people
Use synonyms
 agree that job satisfaction gives
people
Use synonyms
 the opportunity to be happy and motivated which
also
Linking Words
 affects human progress overall.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: