IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is suggested that everyone should have a Car, a television and se fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society Outweigh advantages?

#car #television #fridge #development #society
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Some segments of society believe that it is necessary for each household should have some basic essentials
such
Linking Words
 as a
car
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travelling, a television for entertainment and a refrigerator for
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
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 the
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 for a longer time.
Although
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 these luxury items lead
some
Change preposition
to some
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 harmful consequences, I believe that those are very essential in
this
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 fast-moving world.
This
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 essay will not only highlight the benefits which are associated with
this
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 situation but
also
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 present some drawbacks of
this
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 phenomenon. There are several advantages that can be attributed to
this
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 situation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
a
car
Use synonyms
 that made our life fast and smooth.
For instance
Linking Words
, we can enjoy one side
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
comfortably and there is no matter how far our destination is.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 television which was
remarkable
Add an article
a remarkable
the remarkable
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 invention. Mainly it is used
for
Change preposition
to
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 entertain
people
Use synonyms
 as
recreational
Add an article
a recreational
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 activity is very crucial nowadays.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can spend time together by watching their favourite reality shows or movies and can get
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of information about Current affairs.
Last
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 but not least, a refrigerator which
is plays
Change the verb form
plays
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 an indispensable role at the present time. It Preserves food for a
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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 as it was not possible
in
Change preposition
apply
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a decade ago.
Thus
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, owing to
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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 use of these products,
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy the comfort of life.
However
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, every rose has some thorns
likewise
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 there are some defects in
this
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 situation. Primarily, the use of cars is often responsible for pollution. To
further
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 corroborate the above view, due to increasing
car
Use synonyms
 users in urban areas seventy per cent of individuals we Suffering from
a chronic respiratory problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
chronic respiratory problems
a chronic respiratory problem
show examples
 every year.
Moreover
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,
operation
Correct article usage
the operation
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 of
bridge
Fix the agreement mistake
bridges
show examples
 and TV
also
Linking Words
 requires
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
electricity which is becoming insufficient in many parts of the world. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent days,
people
Use synonyms
 habituate with those luxurious products so it would be difficult for them to live without those items. In conclusion, despite a tew drawbacks e of having a
car
Use synonyms
 a refrigerator and a television
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the merits are of greater significance
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 individuals.
Thus
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, I opine that the drawbacks certainly seem to be little as compared to benefits.
Submitted by sejupatel17 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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