In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Considering many young people have been gaining weight unhealthily, a few argue that

this

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issue should be resolved by the government. I totally agree with

this

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viewpoint, because most parents do not have enough knowledge to teach their kids, and public schools do not provide healthy

food

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or the amount of physical activity needed.

Body paragraph 1

One of the main reasons I believe the government is responsible for the bad eating habits of the

children

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is because most families do not understand anything about nutrition, as they were never taught, and think being healthy is expensive.

For instance

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, if there were classes to teach how to choose quality

food

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at an accessible price and prepare it, more people would develop

this

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awareness from an early age.

Besides

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, the

children

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would be able to teach their parents and friends, helping to spread useful knowledge and change their mindset.

Body paragraph 2

Another key argument to support my view is that the

food

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provided in public schools is unhealthy, and most

children

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do not have a chance to exercise, so they might become obese, which could contribute to other diseases,

such

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as diabetes or heart problems.

For example

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, by providing vegetables and fruits to

children

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and free sports classes, as well as explaining their importance, it would be easier for them to become healthier adults.

Thus

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, public money would be saved, as there would be a decrease in the number of exams, medicine and surgeries spent.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it has become more difficult to deal with the increasing amount of overweight

children

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. I believe some investment is necessary to spread knowledge about nutrition among

children

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, as parents are incapable of helping sometimes, as well as provide healthy

food

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, and encourage

children

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to have a more active lifestyle.

Therefore

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, if the government wants to reduce their health expenses with obese adults, they should be more concerned about raising awareness among

children

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now.

mariih_borges

Mar 16, 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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