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Band 5.5

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work #situation
Most of the
people
 who get a
third
 level
education
such
Correct your spelling
physicians
physichians
Change preposition
as physichians
show examples
 and professors chose to leave their poor
countries
 to work in developed
countries
. The main problems
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 causes are
drain
Correct article usage
the drain
show examples
 bain of
people
 who had reached
third
 level
education
 and
increase
 the cost of
education
, and the most viable solution is to
increase
 the salary for these
professionists
Correct your spelling
professionals
. It
is well know
Change the verb form
is well known
show examples
 that in poor
countries
people
 who were able to get a degree tend to move abroad to find better opportunities of job. Dreaming to get a better life and job is the main movil to move to other
countries
 in which they start their family and
finally
 stayed there permanently. Another problem
this
 causes is that the cost of
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 will
increase
 in those poor
countries
 because there will be less demand and fewer
people
 might be able to pursue
third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
show examples
education
.
Moreover
,
people
 who had less
education
 tend to have more children in their marriage and
this
 cause a lower style of living
adn
Correct your spelling
and
in
 a circle of poverty.
For instance
, before in Mexico, the university
education
 was almost unaffordable for those who came from work-income class and
this
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anyone who cannot afford an
education
 to think to emigrate to
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
ccountries
Correct your spelling
countries
 like the U.S.A. The most viable solution is that the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 reinforce the law to
increase
 the salary of all these doctors and professors, so
hey
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 decided to stay in their country.
As a result
, they have never had to emigrate to others cities.
Besides
, in these poor
countries
, they could help
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 citizens to continue their
education
 by
mantaining
Correct your spelling
maintaining
 those jobs opens and inspiring future generations to pursue
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher
education
.
For instance
, nowadays, the situation in Mexico has changed because
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
President Manuel Obrador has ordered to build hundreds of free-tuition universities to reverse the emigration issue and motivate young adults to stay with their families in Mexico.
As a result
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emigration to the U.S.A has decreased tremendously. To
conlcude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, moving abroad to get a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
 salary cause to lose the most well-prepared society in poor
countries
 that have weak laws and do not offer decent salaries to their
professionists
Correct your spelling
professions
, so these lead to the rest of society to pay high fees-tuition for those who
persued
Correct your spelling
pursued
show examples
 a degree.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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