IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals, and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #foods #food #impact #families #individuals #society
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It
suggested
Add a missing verb
was suggested
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 by dieticians that we should consume less fast
food
Use synonyms
 in our daily life and I am totally on their side.
What my
Correct pronoun usage
My
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 opinion is that we should spend more
time
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 on traditional cuisine
instead
Linking Words
 of fast
food
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. One possible problem is that eating too much fast
food
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 brings
reverse
Correct article usage
a reverse
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 impact on one's health, especially those who are not fans of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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 and take fast
food
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 frequently. According to
scienfic
Correct your spelling
scientific
 statistics, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 much more heat in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as fry chips, baken chicken and so on, than fruits and vegetables, so it is easy to lead to an obesity problem for one who
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
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 fast
food
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 too often. As we all
known
Wrong verb form
know
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, heart attack, high blood pressure and many
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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other chronic diseases can be caused by obesity.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
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 to that, taking fast
food
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 outside will definitely make a reduction of people's family reunion
time
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 with family members. Cooking
food
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 and sharing with families at home was extremely relaxing and pleasurable, it will
also
Linking Words
 contribute to a better relationship with them. While eating fast
food
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 in the restaurant is difficult to achieve the same effect, people usually finish their dinner
with
Change preposition
at
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 a fast pace speed and goes out of the restaurant.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, we can see some benefits of fast
food
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 at the same
time
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 when we don't have
adequent
Correct your spelling
adequate
time
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 to enjoy a meal and need to go back to the workplace as quick as possible, the
time
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-saving fast
food
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 can fill out stomach in
time
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. In conclusion, the disadvantages of having fast
food
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 surpass its benefits, especially for personal health and family relationship, though it is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 option for us when people don't have
time
Use synonyms
 to cook themselves.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Impact
  • Nutritious
  • Cultural heritage
  • Identity
  • Economic implications
  • Locally sourced
  • Social cohesion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Obesity
  • Heart diseases
  • Diabetes
  • Cultural transmission
  • Convenience
  • Traditional dishes
  • Biodiversity
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