Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
During these
days, the majority of Change preposition
These
people
are facing health problems because of their eating style. It is undeniable fact that high levels of sugar
containted
in manufactured foods and drinks are more likely to cause serious diseases. Correct your spelling
contained
Therefore
, it is suggested that the price of sugary products
should be increased in order to reduce the number of consumers. I totally agree with this
statement and some of my ideas and suitable reasons will be mentioned in this
essay.
First
of all, sugar
contains a lot of calories and fats leading to obesity. Obesity became the most popular health issues
all over the world with a lot of negative effects. Fix the agreement mistake
issue
In addition
, patients who are obesed
are more likely to have liver issues. What is more, Correct your spelling
obese
obsessed
sugar
could bring worse
Add an article
the worse
a worse
situation
to Fix the agreement mistake
situations
people
who have cancers. Undoubtedly, there are many people
who like to eat sweets,
and prefer putting a lot of Remove the comma
apply
sugar
to
their meals and drinks. Change preposition
into
Acoording
to the research, those Correct your spelling
According
people
will definitely suffer toothache too. On the one hand, to trackle
these health problems, it is claimed that sugary Correct your spelling
tackle
products
should be upgrade
their price double or triple. Wrong verb form
upgraded
Next
, the government should increase the amount of tax on sweet products
. This
is because the majority of people
will not spend too much money on sugary products
.
To sum up, it would be a great method to encourage the public to eat less sugar
. I believe that if the product is not worth to buy
, Change the verb form
buying
people
will no longer use that product.Submitted by tthoon21 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite