Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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During these

Change preposition

These

show examples

days, the majority of

people

Use synonyms

are facing health problems because of their eating style. It is undeniable fact that high levels of

sugar

Use synonyms

containted

Correct your spelling

contained

in manufactured foods and drinks are more likely to cause serious diseases.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is suggested that the price of sugary

products

Use synonyms

should be increased in order to reduce the number of consumers. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and some of my ideas and suitable reasons will be mentioned in

this

Linking Words

essay.

First

Linking Words

of all,

sugar

Use synonyms

contains a lot of calories and fats leading to obesity. Obesity became the most popular health

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

all over the world with a lot of negative effects.

In addition

Linking Words

, patients who are

obesed

Correct your spelling

obese

obsessed

are more likely to have liver issues. What is more,

sugar

Use synonyms

could bring

worse

Add an article

the worse

a worse

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who have cancers. Undoubtedly, there are many

people

Use synonyms

who like to eat sweets

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and prefer putting a lot of

sugar

Use synonyms

Change preposition

into

show examples

their meals and drinks.

Acoording

Correct your spelling

According

to the research, those

people

Use synonyms

will definitely suffer toothache too. On the one hand, to

trackle

Correct your spelling

tackle

these health problems, it is claimed that sugary

products

Use synonyms

should be

upgrade

Wrong verb form

upgraded

show examples

their price double or triple.

Linking Words

, the government should increase the amount of tax on sweet

products

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because the majority of

people

Use synonyms

will not spend too much money on sugary

products

Use synonyms

. To sum up, it would be a great method to encourage the public to eat less

sugar

Use synonyms

. I believe that if the product is not worth

to buy

Change the verb form

buying

show examples

people

Use synonyms

will no longer use that product.

tthoon21Thu Mar 17 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Designer goods are becoming more and more popular. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group.some argue that peer pressure is important while others it has distinct disadvantages.do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.