Some people think that public health is responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Several
people
postulate that the government should take responsibility for the well-being of the public,
whereas
others claim that
people
ought to take care of their health.
This
essay will examine both views
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and give my own thoughts on
this
hypothesis below. Visibly, increased physical activity is undeniably necessary for keeping healthy. When
people
are involved in a sport, or they do regular exercise
this
increases their heart rate, which is a key factor to live a long time. To do that best way may be to sign up for a gym.
For example
, two years ago, I suffered from heart disease, which was a coronary artery attack. To deal with it, I should have done regular exercises. Helping with my doctor I registered a sports centre,
then
my heart rate started beating regularly.
On the contrary
, undoubtedly the leaders can control public well-being by implementing taxation for junk foods since these processed foods are consumed in increasing amounts
day-by-day
Correct your spelling
day by day
show examples
and making
people
inactive.
Last
year Turkish Government took a step a critical implementation regarding
this
. The selling of chocolate is banned in supermarkets because
according to
the reports, nearly 100 Turkish
people
put on weight because of chocolate.
Therefore
, if the authorities offer considerable prohibitions to prevent becoming obese,
this
might
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
show examples
a tiny step
of
Change preposition
toward
show examples
public health. In conclusion, it is evidently clear that the well-being of society is not the only responsibility of individuals but
also
the duty of authority. In my opinion, to provide public health the regime should work more than its citizens because it has jurisdiction to deter it.
Submitted by mysteryyyy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main points of the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Government responsibility
  • Individual responsibility
  • Vaccination programs
  • Anti-smoking campaigns
  • Subsidized medical services
  • Healthcare accessibility
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Food safety regulations
  • Pollution control
  • Occupational safety
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Self-education
  • Proactive management
  • Personalized healthcare
  • Comprehensive health system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: