Some people think that public health is responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Several

people

Use synonyms

postulate that the government should take responsibility for the well-being of the public,

whereas

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others claim that

people

Use synonyms

ought to take care of their health.

This

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essay will examine both views

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and give my own thoughts on

this

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hypothesis below. Visibly, increased physical activity is undeniably necessary for keeping healthy. When

people

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are involved in a sport, or they do regular exercise

this

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increases their heart rate, which is a key factor to live a long time. To do that best way may be to sign up for a gym.

For example

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, two years ago, I suffered from heart disease, which was a coronary artery attack. To deal with it, I should have done regular exercises. Helping with my doctor I registered a sports centre,

then

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my heart rate started beating regularly.

On the contrary

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, undoubtedly the leaders can control public well-being by implementing taxation for junk foods since these processed foods are consumed in increasing amounts

day-by-day

Correct your spelling

day by day

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and making

people

Use synonyms

inactive.

Last

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year Turkish Government took a step a critical implementation regarding

this

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. The selling of chocolate is banned in supermarkets because

according to

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the reports, nearly 100 Turkish

people

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put on weight because of chocolate.

Therefore

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, if the authorities offer considerable prohibitions to prevent becoming obese,

this

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might

consider

Wrong verb form

be considered

show examples

a tiny step

Change preposition

toward

show examples

public health. In conclusion, it is evidently clear that the well-being of society is not the only responsibility of individuals but

also

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the duty of authority. In my opinion, to provide public health the regime should work more than its citizens because it has jurisdiction to deter it.

mysteryyyyThu Mar 17 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main points of the essay.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments effectively.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public health
Government responsibility
Individual responsibility
Vaccination programs
Anti-smoking campaigns
Subsidized medical services
Healthcare accessibility
Socioeconomic status
Food safety regulations
Pollution control
Occupational safety
Lifestyle choices
Self-education
Proactive management
Personalized healthcare
Comprehensive health system

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Some people think that public health is responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Public celebrations (national days, festivals) are held in many countries. Some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree?

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?