Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful, Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

The criteria to be a successful

person

vary from

person

. it is reckoned by a section of

society

that earning huge money

considers

Wrong verb form

is considered

show examples

as the criteria to assess a

person

's success.

However

, others find it challenging to considers concur with it because they feel that success depends upon the contribution to

society

. I endorse the latter view in the statement wholeheartedly.

This

essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

attempt to explicate both views

as well as

my opinion in the forthcoming at

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

length. On the one hand, there are several reasons why

people

consider individuals more successful who earn a lot. The first and foremost reason is that rich

people

receive respect in

society

and are admired by many youngsters.

Secondly

, the rich

person

can live a luxurious

life

and a high living standard which is the dream of most

people

. To exemplify, executives of a large organization are considered successful by some

people

, proving that earning a handsome salary makes the individual successful.

On the other hand

, others believe that contributing the

society

is key to being successful in

life

. The reason behind

Correct pronoun usage

this is

show examples

that many

people

such

as doctors,

scientists

Correct word choice

and scientists

show examples

do a lot of hard work to contribute the

society

. They leave footprints on the heart of the

people

by their contribution to

society

and

people

remember them hundreds of years after their death. To exemplify,

people

still remember the great scientist APJ Abdul Kalam and still respect him a lot, proving that contributing to

society

makes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

successful.

To conclude

, even though many

people

believe that earning more

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

the individual successful because he can afford

luxury

Replace the word

a luxurious

show examples

life

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I believe that contribution is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

important factor

to be

Change preposition

in being

show examples

successful in

life

Submitted by rattankumar9771 on Thu Mar 17 2022

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, but the argumentation and reasoning could be more developed.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear logical structure and presents a good introduction and conclusion. However, the use of supporting examples and linking ideas could be strengthened for better coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful, Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

: Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In most science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the numbers?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and solution of this disturbing trend.

Some people think that government should not give international aid since they have disadvantages people like unemployment and homeless in their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?