Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful, Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

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The criteria to be a successful

person

Use synonyms

vary from

person

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person

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. it is reckoned by a section of

society

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that earning huge money

considers

Wrong verb form

is considered

show examples

as the criteria to assess a

person

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's success.

However

Linking Words

, others find it challenging to considers concur with it because they feel that success depends upon the contribution to

society

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. I endorse the latter view in the statement wholeheartedly.

This

Linking Words

essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

attempt to explicate both views

as well as

Linking Words

my opinion in the forthcoming at

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

length. On the one hand, there are several reasons why

people

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consider individuals more successful who earn a lot. The first and foremost reason is that rich

people

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receive respect in

society

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and are admired by many youngsters.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the rich

person

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can live a luxurious

life

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and a high living standard which is the dream of most

people

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. To exemplify, executives of a large organization are considered successful by some

people

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, proving that earning a handsome salary makes the individual successful.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others believe that contributing the

society

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is key to being successful in

life

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. The reason behind

Correct pronoun usage

this is

show examples

that many

people

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such

Linking Words

as doctors,

scientists

Correct word choice

and scientists

show examples

do a lot of hard work to contribute the

society

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. They leave footprints on the heart of the

people

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by their contribution to

society

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and

people

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remember them hundreds of years after their death. To exemplify,

people

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still remember the great scientist APJ Abdul Kalam and still respect him a lot, proving that contributing to

society

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makes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

successful.

To conclude

Linking Words

, even though many

people

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believe that earning more

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

the individual successful because he can afford

luxury

Replace the word

a luxurious

show examples

life

Use synonyms

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I believe that contribution is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

important factor

to be

Change preposition

in being

show examples

successful in

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by rattankumar9771 on Thu Mar 17 2022

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, but the argumentation and reasoning could be more developed.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear logical structure and presents a good introduction and conclusion. However, the use of supporting examples and linking ideas could be strengthened for better coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful, Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that universities shold only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that punishment is the best way of teaching children to behave well. Others believe that it is better to reward children for good be haviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some companies prefer people to work in the office, while others facilitate their employees to work from home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.