IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #hours #work #happen #development
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In these days and ages,
people
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work
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 competitively in order to run their company’s economy,
thus
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, many
employees
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 are claimed to take long
hours
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 at
work
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons for
this
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 situation and my opinion of why
this
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 is a negative development. There are various reasons that are attributable to the increase in working
hours
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 of
people
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.
Firstly
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, most
employees
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 nowadays are willing to
work
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 long
hours
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 to quickly gain success. Specifically, paying a lot of time and effort is possible for employers to climb the career ladder, which gives them a stable status afterwards.
Moreover
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, having overtime shifts may let them earn a higher salary in order to cover a better life.
Secondly
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, encouraging
employees
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 to
work
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 more
hours
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 than normally is one of the ways to raise a country’s economy. Japan,
for example
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, always stays as a top developed country in the world,
this
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 is a result of long-hour working.
Although
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 a number of positive reasons are mentioned above, it seems to me that
this
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 development has serious effects on
people
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. Overworking is a potential impact that directly harms
people
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’s health. It is clearly seen that paying too much attention to
work
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 may lead to unstable mental health,
employees
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 usually suffer from fatigue.
Thus
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, patients are easily falling under
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
, under pressure, which decreases their
work
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 productivity. Another negative influence is that
people
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 will hardly find happiness due to the heavy workload. Indeed, they do not have time for family and childcare as well as personal hobbies. As a consequence, senses of loneliness and dullness are created. In conclusion, the economic issue is the most common reason for additional working time,
however
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, I am prone to the negative sides of
this
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 trend.
Submitted by nguyenthuytien1609 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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