Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#species #world #people #countries #individuals #animals #beings

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Today's media highlights the major natural disaster issue, "Animal extinct". Some communities argue that countries and individuals should prevent

this

Linking Words

animal extinct symptom.

However

Linking Words

, many

crowd

Change to a plural noun

crowds

show examples

don't believe that support endangered

animals

Use synonyms

. because they claim dying

animals

Use synonyms

are caused by not only artificial

reasons

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

natural

reasons

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to illustrate both sides.

To begin

Linking Words

, people argue the idea of protecting wild

animals

Use synonyms

for moral

reasons

Use synonyms

. In early human civilization, people used to hunt

animals

Use synonyms

to survive hunger and cold. But as centuries

gose

Correct your spelling

by, hunting

animals

Use synonyms

became an unnecessary activity to maintain our lives.

However

Linking Words

, agreed

for

Change preposition

that

show examples

fame and selfishness couldn't stop a hunting activity.

For example

Linking Words

, an African elephant is in danger of extinct

Change preposition

because of

show examples

vicious outlaw hunting

from

Change preposition

show examples

poachers. The wild elephant's fangs are so rare and expensive that people are willing to pay

them

Change preposition

for them

show examples

even

Correct word choice

if it

show examples

is illegal. In fact, Not only African elephants,

numerous

Correct word choice

but numerous

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

got hunted for a temporary luxurious action.

Thus

Linking Words

unless hunting behaviour

tackled

Wrong verb form

tackles

show examples

morality, many associations attempt to protect

animals

Use synonyms

for these

reasons

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, some animal experts assume that animal

extinct

Replace the word

extinction

show examples

occurs in a cycle of nature.

For example

Linking Words

, Cheeta is well known for being the most endangered animal in Africa.

Although

Linking Words

they are the top rank in a cycle of nature, their survival and birth rate

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

relatively low. ,

Also

Linking Words

Cheeta has a sensitive and introverted personality,

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

sometimes their poor mental condition interrupt mating and hunting activities.

According to

Linking Words

the research,

cheeta

Correct your spelling

cheetah

cups' survival rates are only 20% in general.

In other words

Linking Words

, "Animal extinct" could occur without human effects. Not only natural causes, but the maintenance to protecting

animals

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

maintenance to protecting

animals

Use synonyms

costs too high to control by independent individuals or communities. In sum, many folks have an argument over protecting endangered

animals

Use synonyms

Change preposition

from

show examples

countries and individuals. on the disagreement side, they argue that the symptom of dying

animals

Use synonyms

cannot be controlled by human action, because it is a cycle of nature.

However

Linking Words

, I believe the responsibility of killing

animals

Use synonyms

for selfishness, cannot be erased, In my opinion, to postpone an animal instinct, all endangered

animals

Use synonyms

should have more protection and support in the communities and countries.

Submitted by eunheaimo92 on Fri Mar 18 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly present and fulfill their respective purposes. Additionally, provide a more structured approach to the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed comprehensively. Provide clearer and more relevant examples to support the points made in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

366 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
cascading effects
economic impacts
ecosystem
endangered species
environmental conservation
human welfare
moral duty
preserve
sustainable practices
habitats
interconnected
extinction
advocates
opponents
priority

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Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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While some argue that the internet is a blessing as it helps with information, others think that it is not necessary to have such smount of information.What is your opinion?

some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. agree or disagree

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.