“In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for public. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?”

#“in #countries #trials #television

There is a controversial statement heating a debate over the fact that offenders participate in

television

shows that

be broadcasted

Wrong verb form

are broadcast

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

the public in some nations.

While

every trend

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

its pros and cons and

this

is not an exception, I believe that the drawback outweighs its counterpart. It is undoubted that allowing perpetrators to be shown on media platforms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

several advantages. People usually see trials as dangerous and redundant individuals in society,

although

they have profoundly fixed their mistakes so

witness

Wrong verb form

witnessing

show examples

criminals

under a different image can help the public understand what they have been through.

For example

, many offenders from American

television

shows about crime declared that the programmes have helped them to get a job and be accepted in society again.

Thus

, having shows about perpetrators can do wonders for some forgivable lives.

On the other hand

television

broadcasting is a common media platform on a daily basis so the

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

that

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

shown on it

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to be strictly controlled or it will lead to several pressing problems.

Firstly

, children can watch programmes about

criminals

, and they will think that breaking

Correct article usage

the laws

show examples

laws

Fix the agreement mistake

law

show examples

is an ordinary action because many people

did

Wrong verb form

have done

show examples

it already.

For instance

, many young

criminals

in the USA said that they have watched crime-related shows.

Secondly

, the workshop of an offender sometimes involves violent aspects, which will create negative impacts on the public.

Lastly

this

trend can be an opportunity for

criminals

try

Fix the infinitive

to try

show examples

to fool the citizen in order to re-offend.

Hence

, it is not a wise decision to let perpetrators be shown on

television

. In conclusion, despite having some positive impacts, I believe that allowing

criminals

to be

broadcasted

Wrong verb form

broadcast

show examples

television

harms the morale of society.

Submitted by van.ngh on Fri Mar 18 2022

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task response

The essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the topic and maintains a logical structure throughout. It includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the response lacks depth and fails to fully address the advantages and disadvantages.

coherence and cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate use of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between sentences. However, there are some issues with the logical flow of ideas. More effective use of linking words and phrases would improve coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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“In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for public. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?”

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Many people around the world use ssocial media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?