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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that school children should study history as a main subject. Others think that others subject are more important for children in modern society. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

#people #school #children #study #history #society
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Several people claim that
history
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 should be the main subject for
children
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 in school, whilst
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 believe that in
generation
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the generation
show examples
 today, other
suject
Correct your spelling
subject
subjects
are
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is
show examples
 more important. From my point of view,
history
Use synonyms
 should be valued,
however
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, there are some instances that
children
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 should learn other than
history
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.
This
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 essay will explain both scenarios. On one hand, being aware
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 culture is a key factor to ensure that
children
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 will appreciate their heritage.
Moreover
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, making
history
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as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the prime subject for learning will
benefits
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benefit
show examples
 the future because they will realise the importance and value the worth of the preserved
history
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.
For instance
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, the historical places in various nations, learning the background more of the said place will acknowledge the value of culture.
On the other hand
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, in the modern world we live today, there are other important
subject
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subjects
show examples
 that youngsters should be
Add an article
a focus
the focus
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focus
Wrong verb form
focused
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 on because they need to go with the flow and see what they need in order to survive in our society.
Moreover
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, life is a process that
require
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requires
show examples
 and adapt what is
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
.
For example
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, soft skills
such
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 as decision-making,
team work
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teamwork
show examples
 because it is vital in our daily living. In conclusion, learning
history
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 is essential for which the
children
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 learned and value the worth of preserved
history
Use synonyms
, whereas other subjects are more important because for daily survival.
Submitted by brainfreeze on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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