IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#protection #responsibility #politicians #individuals
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Some people have argued that protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
 should be the duty of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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political
office holders
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officeholders
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 rather than
the
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ordinary citizens who have little to offer.
This
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 essay agrees with the latter view that politicians have far greater influence in driving an impact as regards preserving the
environment
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. The essay will argue that even though, the individuals have some roles to play and can agitate the government for a positive change, the lion's responsibility still lies with the political stakeholders.
Firstly
Linking Words
, citizens do have some critical responsibility to play toward ensuring that the
environment
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 is safe for all, as they are the main players that will be coordinated by the government to bring about any beneficial change.
In other words
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, they are the ones who partake in activities that can negatively affect the community.
For example
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, they are the ones involved in bush burning and clearing, hunting for wild animals, and even working in
the
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large factories where the most obnoxious gaseous wastes are released from time to time in large quantities into the atmosphere. It is
therefore
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 not out of place, why some have canvassed that they should be the first target to address in other to have a convincing change.
However
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, the influence they can have is limited.
On the other hand
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,
the
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politicians can have a far-reaching influence as far as the issue of environmental protection is concerned.
This
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 is because they are likely to get to the position of authority, and can use their power to drive revolutionizing positive changes that will have a greater impact on the
environment
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.
For instance
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, lawmakers and even executive cabinet members can engineer policy that strives to protect the
environment
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such
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 as enacting prohibitive laws against human and industrial activities that can have damaging consequences on the
environment
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 like bush burning or the release of harmful gases in the atmosphere.
In addition
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, agencies can be set up to monitor and coordinate these human and industrial activities. In conclusion, though
the
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individuals have their own roles to play
toward
Change preposition
in
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 making the
environment
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 safe, in my opinion,
the
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politicians are the major drivers of any meaningful changes that can have an effective impact.
Submitted by samsonriders on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument and is logically connected to the following paragraph.
task response
Provide a direct answer to the question and ensure that the essay is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental protection
  • responsibility
  • politicians
  • individuals
  • large-scale
  • policies
  • regulations
  • impact
  • corporations
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • resources
  • expertise
  • collective efforts
  • difference
  • combination
  • crucial
  • effective
What to do next:
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