The population of many countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweighs the disadvantages.

#population #countries #adults #people #situation

I am Suchaya Boonviriya from Thailand. I am writing to ask about opportunities for postgraduate study. I was awarded the Chulabhorn Royal Academy, College of Medical Science Scholarship in Commemoration of King Bhumibol Adulyadej’s 90th Birthday Anniversary. I intend to study for a PhD programme in the Faculty of Nursing, Midwifery & Palliative

Care

with Applied Technologies in Clinical

Care

area at the King’s College London under your guidance. I graduated with a bachelor 's degree in nursing science and experienced working in a Neurological Intensive

Care

Unit for 7 years. During

this

period I had done a master's degree in public

health

with a major

Change preposition

show examples

occupational

health

and safety. I have conducted a master research thesis about the risk of breast cancer in rotating shift nurses and non-rotating shift nurses by studying melatonin, estrogen levels and other relative factors. Apart from experience in Thailand, I have worked in various healthcare areas

such

as aged

care

, private

care

, and medical equipment in Australia for 2.5 years.

Additionally

, with regard to recent working experience at Telehealth Cluster, Faculty of Medicine, Chulalongkorn University,I am aware of the importance of technology techniques

such

health

informatics (Big Data), machine learning , and AI to enhance

health

care

service. Thailand is still lacking expertise in

this

area.

Therefore

, I have a strong intention to deeply study modern technologies integrated into medical knowledge.

This

also

is to bridge the gap of knowledge between medical and engineering toward improved

health

care

outcomes. Personally, I am interested in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cerebral aneurysms,

this

is because it is impossible to determine when the aneurysm might rupture. There will not be any signs or symptoms to alert the patient of the potential threat. But I strongly believe a huge amount of data could create prediction models and evaluations.

This

would prevent some unsatisfactory outcomes which might affect the function.

However

, I can

also

do work on any topic just need your kind supervision and guidance. My CV and scholarship certification

are

Change the verb form

show examples

attached. I would be very grateful to you if you will examine it. In case of any query or

further

processing, feel free to contact me. Thank you very much for your time and consideration, and for any comments you could give me. I may request you to provide me with an opportunity to pursue my higher studies under your kind supervision.

Submitted by boon.suchaya on Fri Mar 18 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

393 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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The population of many countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweighs the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Teenagers should not be allowed to use mobile phones in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can done about this?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?