Some people say that competitive sports have advantages for people from different groups and countries, while others believe that competitive sports only create problems between people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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One of the habits in how Indonesian celebrate independence days is a conduct competitive
sports
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. Some of the games are involving
people
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from the multibackground. There are 2 perspectives related to
this
Linking Words

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issue, one side think competitive
sports
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is a tool to increase the solid of the organization but others view that it will impact negatively all the population
involve
Wrong verb form
involved

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb involve. Consider changing it.

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in the activity.
First
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, the views that competitive
sport
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can enhance the solidness of the
team
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. "There no forever opponent of forever friends, the needed was".
This
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well said quote shows that the same objective of a group of
people
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can change
people
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that were enemies before becoming friends. What
Add a missing verb
is stated

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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stated
Correct your spelling
started

The word stated doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in that quote
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

shows in the
sport
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that focuses on competition. The community who have the same purpose
such
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as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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winning the
game
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will become a great
team
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and will focus on how to make their enemies weaker and their
team
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could win the
game
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The others issues
besides
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the purpose, namely the difference of origin country or group, not will
be acknowledge
Change the verb form
be acknowledged

It appears that the form of the verb acknowledge does not work with be in this sentence.

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since the eager being the winner is more important than that. By creating the
sport
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

competitive
people
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will trust their partners who
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject their partners. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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in the same boat and try to make the enemies lose the
game
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

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, if the implementation of competitive
sport
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is the group that has just been established yet can endanger the solidness of the big
team
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. We have to make the minimal impact of disadvantages. the two teams that strive to be winners will do the best that they can do. Some of the acts to achieve the goal can make trust issues. So when the organization came back to the real work or real school they became more sensitive and could not believe in others. Despite the disadvantage, I think the advantage of competitive
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for communities from different groups
is outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs

It appears that the form of the verb outweigh does not work with is in this sentence.

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the disadvantage. It really depends on how we can socialize after the
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

game
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and manage the trust issues. We can wisely manage it by separating the
game
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and the working life.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competitive sports
  • Advantages
  • Unity
  • Friendship
  • Cultural exchange
  • Understanding
  • Physical health
  • Mental health
  • Life skills
  • Problems
  • Rivalry
  • Hostility
  • Inequality
  • Discrimination
  • Pressure
  • Stress
  • Opinion
What to do next:
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