Many employees may work at home with modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?
Due to
state-of-the-art technologies, remote jobs have become prevalent in recent times. Some may argue this
offers many advantages just to clerks rather than employers. In my opinion, this
method is beneficial for both sides, and I strongly disagree with the statement.
There are several reasons why some may consider the positive aspects of working at home
only for workers. To begin
with, they do not need to pay for commuting to job
location Correct pronoun usage
their job
as
well Correct word choice
and
as
no waste Correct word choice
apply
of
time Change preposition
apply
for
any public transportation or traffic Change preposition
on
jam
; Fix the agreement mistake
jams
thus
they tend to earn more than before, in other words
, making more money and comforting them. In addition
, remote workers will have a healthier lifestyle. Thanks to the extra time that such
job
conditions provide, they have enough time for exercise and most likely eat more homemade rather than convenience foods. Finally
, employees at home
will not be monitored as much as they used to when their job
was in-person since there is no manager or supervisor. Therefore
, there are many advantages for home
workers.
However
, these online works are beneficial for job
owners as well. In this
way, employers do not need to pay for resources such
as equipment and a huge office building while
they are inevitable for in-person jobs. As a result
, skipping these costly steps would increase the income. For example
, there is no spending on furniture or electricity. Moreover
, as employees have better communication with their co-workers due to
using computers, they perform more efficiently. This
increases the performance, resulting in more satisfaction for customers and consequently
, higher revenue and reputation for companies. A real-life example is a company where I work, which
since the sales representatives started working online the company’s sales have risen significantly.
In my view, as the reasons mentioned, working at Correct pronoun usage
apply
home
offers vast benefits not only to staff but also
to companies and I disagree that only employees take advantage of this
style of working.
In conclusion, despite the fact that many argue that remote jobs do not have positive income for employers and only benefits
the staff, as far as I am concerned Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
this
is not true. Working through the internet at home
has been beneficial for companies’ owners and the workforce.Submitted by alisabagh1853 on
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structure
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clearly discernible and effectively encapsulate the main points of the essay. Both should be distinct paragraphs that adequately frame the discussion.
paragraph structure
Work on developing a more logical structure within paragraphs, ensuring each has a clear and distinct main idea that is fully explored before moving to the next.
task response
Maintain focus on answering the question directly throughout the essay. Support each point with relevant examples and explain how they relate to the question.
coherence
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words appropriately to link ideas and paragraphs. Be cautious of overusing them, which can disrupt the natural flow of the essay.
language use
It is beneficial to work on paraphrasing skills to showcase a range of language and to avoid repetition. This can improve the overall cohesiveness and readability of the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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