IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

online shopping is a positive or negative development

#development
According to
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of individuals, the most efficient solution for the issue of overweight and unhealthy is the interference of parents. As parents is a crucial role and an example for children in which can influence their diets and food preferences,
in
Change preposition
apply
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particularly
Replace the word
particular
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vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
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 and fruits. When the habits of eating and enjoying healthy diets developed, children would grow up with no obesity and
thus
 they would keep healthy for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term.
Moreover
, except the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
scientific diet,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 activity is
also
 a resultful method for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adults who are overweight.
Consequently
, the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 programs would ensure students boost their calories and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 sufficient exercise
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which excluding the problems of
children
Replace the word
childhood
show examples
 obesity.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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