IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Online shopping is now replacing shopping in the store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#store #development
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Today, People's high demand for a convenient lifestyle has
been surged
Change to the active voice
surged
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 in these days, and the internet shopping business is the best example that
represent
Change the verb form
represents
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 our future technology.
However
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,
this
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 phenomenon is overly populated in all market areas, which triggered the huge argument about the online market's negative and positive effects to
existed
Wrong verb form
existing
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 market places. In
this
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 essay, I am going to illustrate
this
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 statement my opinion.
To begin
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, online shopping service gave many benefits to numerous customers,
such
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 as various information of products, and easy purchasing progress. Only a few clicks on the computer or a smartphone
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 can save many hours to focus on their lives.
Moreover
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, Online shipping service has been expanded and they are available for what an offline shop do,
such
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 as product quality check, fresh food delivery, and so on. On top of that, a surge of online shipping marketing develops the common idea of purchasing behaviour to higher social value.
For example
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, Nike, the sports brand company, create an online shop membership. It was a VIP benefit for the online customer that give additional various lifestyle activities. In another word, expanding online shopping services can give positive influence
people
Change preposition
on people
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 and cultures. In conclusion, Today's Online shopping services
has
Change the verb form
have
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 so
much
Change the quantifier
many
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potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
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 for the future. And that's why I believe that the merit of shopping via the internet outweigh the demerits.
This
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 is because
this
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 gives more options and saves time.
Submitted by eunheaimo92 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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