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Band 4

It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behavior in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#responsibility #schools #children #behavior #addition #education
The line graph illustrates the
Outokumpu
share
price
 from January 2006 and December 2010 in terms of
Euros
.
Overall
, there is an elevation of the
share
price
 from the beginning of the
year
 and it declined for the succeeding years and went back to the same
share
price
. At the beginning of the
year
 2006, the
share
price
 commenced at 13
Euros
 and gradually inclined to
each
Change the word
its
show examples
 highest peak at about 32
Euros
 between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2006 and 2007. And it declined
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 approximately 22
Euros
 between 2007 and 2008. Afterwards, the
share
price
 of
Outokumpu
 companies swiftly regained its inclination at about 30
Euros
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 in the
year
 2008,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it drastically changed and declined to its lowest point at about 7
Euros
 between
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2008 and 2009.
Moreover
, it
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 up a minute and went back to its original
share
price
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 13
Euros
 same
from
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
year
 that it started at about 13
Euros
. CORRECTIONS: The line graph illustrates the
Outokumpu
share
price
 from January 2006 and December 2010 in terms of
Euros
.
Overall
, there is an elevation of the
share
price
 from the beginning of the
year
 and it declined for the succeeding years and went back to the same
share
price
. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2006, the
share
price
 commenced AT 13
Euros
 and gradually inclined to ITS highest peak at about 32
Euros
 between
year
 2006 and 2007.
THEN
, it declined TO approximately 22
Euros
 between 2007 and 2008. Afterwards, the
share
price
 of
Outokumpu
 companies swiftly regained its inclination at about 30
Euros
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 in the
year
 2008,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it drastically changed and declined to its lowest point at about 7
Euros
 between
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2008 and 2009.
Moreover
, IT WENT UP a minute RATE and went back to its original
share
price
 at about 13
Euros
 same
from
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
year
 that it started at about 13
Euros
.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
Improve the overall organization and coherence of ideas to enhance clarity and logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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