IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behavior in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#responsibility #schools #children #behavior #addition #education
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The line graph illustrates the
Outokumpu
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share
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price
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 from January 2006 and December 2010 in terms of
Euros
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.
Overall
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, there is an elevation of the
share
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price
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 from the beginning of the
year
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 and it declined for the succeeding years and went back to the same
share
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price
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. At the beginning of the
year
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 2006, the
share
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price
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 commenced at 13
Euros
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 and gradually inclined to
each
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its
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 highest peak at about 32
Euros
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 between
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 2006 and 2007. And it declined
at
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to
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 approximately 22
Euros
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 between 2007 and 2008. Afterwards, the
share
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price
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 of
Outokumpu
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 companies swiftly regained its inclination at about 30
Euros
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particularly
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, particularly
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 in the
year
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 2008,
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however
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however,
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 it drastically changed and declined to its lowest point at about 7
Euros
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 between
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year
Change the article
the year
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 2008 and 2009.
Moreover
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, it
goes
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went
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 up a minute and went back to its original
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price
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at
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of
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 about 13
Euros
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 same
from
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as
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 the
year
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 that it started at about 13
Euros
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. CORRECTIONS: The line graph illustrates the
Outokumpu
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share
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price
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 from January 2006 and December 2010 in terms of
Euros
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is an elevation of the
share
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 from the beginning of the
year
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 and it declined for the succeeding years and went back to the same
share
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price
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. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
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year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2006, the
share
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price
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 commenced AT 13
Euros
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 and gradually inclined to ITS highest peak at about 32
Euros
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 between
year
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 2006 and 2007.
THEN
Linking Words
, it declined TO approximately 22
Euros
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 between 2007 and 2008. Afterwards, the
share
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 of
Outokumpu
Use synonyms
 companies swiftly regained its inclination at about 30
Euros
Use synonyms
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2008,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it drastically changed and declined to its lowest point at about 7
Euros
Use synonyms
 between
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2008 and 2009.
Moreover
Linking Words
, IT WENT UP a minute RATE and went back to its original
share
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price
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 at about 13
Euros
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 same
from
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
year
Use synonyms
 that it started at about 13
Euros
Use synonyms
.
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task response
Ensure that the essay directly responds to the task prompt and supports the position taken.
coherence cohesion
Improve the overall organization and coherence of ideas to enhance clarity and logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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