We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem to no closer to feeling happy in their lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#information #age #technology #people #lives

It is real that we are living in the era of electronic information

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

we can not doubt that it is easier to be connected to

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

technology

;

however

, the involvement of

technology

still

left

Wrong verb form

leaves

show examples

many

people

left to live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

no closer to feeling happy. In a personal view, I absolutely agree with these thoughts and

This

essay will discuss these problems.

Firstly

, nowadays

technology

is not only improving the way

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

people

communicate with each other, but

technology

also

gives

people

more access to something that they never got before;

for instance

, 20 years ago it was impossible to order vegetables within minutes from home, but now, even ordering a car can be done with a phone and will be sent right in front of your house in hours, or even minutes.

On the other hand

, as social beings, humans need to have interaction with other humans. Sadly,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technologies can not replace the way

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

humans interact naturally and even make it harder for them to communicate physically;

for example

, in

this

pandemic situation, a lot of

people

feel awkward communicating in video meetings and turn out to be depressed, yet they can still communicate with each other in virtual form. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technologies will develop throughout the years, but the way

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

people

communicate with each other can not change. It is not the

people

's fault that they feel less happy in their lives, it is the technological development that sometimes

did

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not understand how human as social beings works.

Submitted by Wildanathar5 on Mon Mar 21 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem to no closer to feeling happy in their lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A friend wants to spend a two-week holiday in your city and has written asking for information and advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, offer to find somewhere to stay give advice about what to do give information about what clothes to bring

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.