IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe work for the same organisation all thier working life. Others think that it is better to work for the different organisations. Duscuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #work #organisation #thier #life #organisations #duscuss
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It is often argued that people should work for the same
company
Use synonyms
 throughout their career, whilst
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 disagree and think it is beneficial to change the workplace. In my opinion, I believe that
although
Linking Words
 working for the same organisation offers more comfort zone, overall changing jobs are crucial to obtain growth in the professional
life
Use synonyms
. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, employees who are serving for the same
company
Use synonyms
 feels more comfortable
in contrast
Linking Words
 to those who like to switch places. It is beneficial in terms of knowing the system and people, which makes the work easier.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to a surge in
productivity
Correct article usage
the productivity
show examples
 of the employees.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are more scopes of getting promoted in the same organisation. Taking Japan, as an example,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of workers stay in
one
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
 throughout their professional
life
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
company
Use synonyms
 offers them a plethora of lifelong benefits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working at different companies is more advantageous in context to professional growth. When an employee switches the
company
Use synonyms
 there is a high probability that he will be offered more salary packages and other perks, unlike working in the same
company
Use synonyms
 where workers are sometimes taken as granted.
Thus
Linking Words
, they can raise their standard of living.
In addition
Linking Words
, working in different companies offers more challenges and experiences which has
a positive outcomes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive outcome
positive outcomes
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 on the profile of the candidate. A recent study concluded that Infosys
company
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 which is based in India
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 has offered a 25% joining bonus to the new candidates who are willing to leave their previous companies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, changing organisations
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 a wide range of opportunities. In conclusion, despite the comfort zone
one
Use synonyms
 can get working at the same place for whole
life
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, switching jobs has more benefits in terms of overall professional growth.
Thus
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 should consider changing
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 in order to seize more opportunities and experiences in
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career longevity
  • organizational loyalty
  • diverse skillsets
  • career trajectory
  • organizational culture
  • employee retention
  • job market dynamics
  • technological advancements
  • personal growth opportunities
  • job security
  • psychological implications
  • industry changes
  • professional development
  • workplace satisfaction
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