IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many Countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #places #people #ban
Since smoking
is commonly
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commonly seems
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seem
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seen
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 in the world
in
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apply
show examples
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everywhere
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every where
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everywhere
show examples
,
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apply
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 plenty of countries
are
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is
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 established
rule
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rules
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 to stop smoking in
public
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a public
show examples
place
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places
show examples
. In my opinion, I firmly agree that
,
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apply
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 because using cigarettes impact
people
 who are close to them or teenage behaviour and cause health issues.
First
 of all,
smoking
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the smoking
a smoking
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 profile might influence younger’s behaviours. As
people
 smoke in
public
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a public
show examples
place
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places
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,
such
 as parks, outside schools and bus stops, countless children will access
to
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apply
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there easily, when the children saw it, they will want to know what it is and how it is taste like, so that will
Correct your spelling
affect
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 them to try.
For instance
, a lot of my friends and I started to interested in smoking was when we saw
people
 smoking in the park.
Thus
,
teenager’s
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teenagers’
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 behaviours will be
impected
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impacted
 by smokers.
In addition
, smoking brings illness to
people
. Nowadays, wide of range of ages
people
 are smoking for
relax
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relaxing
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, and some has already been smoking for many years, but the cigarettes including bad
ingredience
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ingredients
ingredient
 which is nicotine, it breaks
people
’s lungs and make it become
weakness
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a weakness
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, and if you smoke more longer it will
brings
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bring
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 terrible illness which is cancers to you.
Moreover
,
people
 are smoking tobacco
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everywhere
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every where
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everywhere
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 that impact
people
 who are nearby them
such
 as children and inhale their
second hand
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second-hand
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 smoking,
it
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which
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 is more badly affect to person.
Therefore
, smoking not only put yourself in danger
also
 effect
other person
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another person
other people
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. To sum up, in the
Correct your spelling
past
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pass
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past
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,
people
allows
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allow
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to smoke
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smoking
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 tobacco
in
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apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
everywhere
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every where
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everywhere
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, indicating that inside
Correct article usage
a restaurant
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restaurant
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restaurants
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 or entertainment
place
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places
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, it is a bad influence
to
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on
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younagers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
younger
youngers
 to elders. So, I strongly agree that not allow
to have
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having
show examples
Add an article
a cigarette
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cigarette
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cigarettes
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 in
public
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a public
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
Submitted by Nikky on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
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