There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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Some individuals believe that schools should remove physical education and cooking classes to allow teenagers to focus on their major lessons.

This

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can put on massive pressure on children as they must be successful academically. I totally disagree with the school

canceling

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cancelling

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these courses. These courses can give children more choices to develop in the direction they like. I am going to discuss my view in the following essay.

To begin

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with, if schools cancel physical education, students will lose many opportunities for activities.

This

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is a serious problem because exercise is good for young people, and it can help them build up stronger fitness. At the same time, when we feel stressed, we can release the stress through sports courses. It is

also

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can improve personal relationships.

Consequently

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, physical education can make students more focused on academic work. I don’t consider sports lessons can be deleted.

On the other hand

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, the cooking class is a vital class. People can learn many skills

such

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as recognizing different kinds of food and cooking techniques. Learning new dishes which we can cook at home for our family to taste. It is a good way to strengthen family relationships. Cooking skills

also

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give you more opportunities to meet new people. Having good family and interpersonal relationships allows us to concentrate more on studying. Because we can talk to them when we are stressed about studying. To sum up, I strongly disagree with removing non-academic subjects. These subjects make it easier for students to succeed academically with less stress.

Submitted by i60127 on Wed Mar 23 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

Some parents are thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of having an au pair. discuss some advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion about the au pair domesctic services.

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary schoolsuch as reading,writing and math How far do you agree or disagree?

It has been suggested that primary school children should be taught how to grow vegetables and keep animals. To what extent the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.