There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

Some individuals believe that schools should remove physical education and cooking classes to allow teenagers to focus on their major lessons.

This

can put on massive pressure on children as they must be successful academically. I totally disagree with the school

canceling

Change the spelling

cancelling

show examples

these courses. These courses can give children more choices to develop in the direction they like. I am going to discuss my view in the following essay.

To begin

with, if schools cancel physical education, students will lose many opportunities for activities.

This

is a serious problem because exercise is good for young people, and it can help them build up stronger fitness. At the same time, when we feel stressed, we can release the stress through sports courses. It is

also

can improve personal relationships.

Consequently

, physical education can make students more focused on academic work. I don’t consider sports lessons can be deleted.

On the other hand

, the cooking class is a vital class. People can learn many skills

such

as recognizing different kinds of food and cooking techniques. Learning new dishes which we can cook at home for our family to taste. It is a good way to strengthen family relationships. Cooking skills

also

give you more opportunities to meet new people. Having good family and interpersonal relationships allows us to concentrate more on studying. Because we can talk to them when we are stressed about studying. To sum up, I strongly disagree with removing non-academic subjects. These subjects make it easier for students to succeed academically with less stress.

Submitted by i60127 on Wed Mar 23 2022

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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